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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: she cant look into my eyes  (Read 557 times)
rich5a
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« on: August 30, 2013, 11:43:55 PM »

my BPDgf can never look me in the eye... if I try and to engage eye contact she will deflect it,  either verbally... or she will close her eyes. while making love our eyes never connect. its frigtening... . the avoidance technique is so strong. she locks you out of her world. anyone experience this?
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Aussie0zborn
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 803



« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2013, 02:11:38 AM »

Yes. While making love mine ALWAYS had her eyes closed as if to say, "I am ready now - transport me to where I want to go" (if you know what I mean). I never liked it but in the devaluation stage, I realized I could have been anybody that was offering to take her to that place.

It sounds like yours is afraid that you will see into her soul. I can understand how off putting this is.
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rich5a
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« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2013, 02:45:44 PM »

Aussie... Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)... cool name.

Its true... I suppose it could be anyone. I am just an object ultimately. I am going to be persistent and ask her to look in my eyes... she instantly becomes uncomfortable. If I suceed... I am sure she will push away the next day.
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