sent emails... let the chips fall where they may

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hubby has been asking if we're still getting a divorce.  We have two kids so I hate to agitate him, but I had to be honest.  I told him he needs a lot of psych. help.  I said it kindly, but was firm.  I anticipate a barrage of revenge.  He does it in such subtle ways - calling to "talk to the kids" but then yelling at me, sending lawyer letters w/lies, etc.  Guess I am just posting because I am scared.  Talking to him is so trying unless I am glossing over our issues. 

Yep, still walking on eggshells even though separated.

[momtara]

Hubby has been asking if we're still getting a divorce.  We have two kids so I hate to agitate him, but I had to be honest.  I told him he needs a lot of psych. help.  I said it kindly, but was firm.  I anticipate a barrage of revenge.  He does it in such subtle ways - calling to "talk to the kids" but then yelling at me, sending lawyer letters w/lies, etc.  Guess I am just posting because I am scared.  Talking to him is so trying unless I am glossing over our issues. 

Yep, still walking on eggshells even though separated.

[Matt]

Do you need to talk to him at all?  Can you communicate through e-mail?  Or only talk about simple things like what time the kids need to get to soccer practice, not about the divorce or any other emotional issues?

[momtara]

Yeah, this was an email, is what i mean.  I wanted to be honest with him.  I can't keep saying maybe we'll get back together.  I am too scared to be with him.  So I sent an email clarifying that.  I am just afraid of his reaction.  Luckily I won't be seeing him for at least a week.

[Matt]

OK, you sent it, and that's that.  Minimize contact and keep it to unemotional topics - practical matters that need to be communicated.