Taking joy in the little things...

[mom2bkl]

Things have been rather smooth lately at our house... .dd18 has basically moved in with her boyfriend (don't say those words out loud to her though) as she still has some stuff at home. But I have found it so much easier to be validating without her under our roof. It has been such an amazing experience to feel what a little space can do! I see her taking baby steps... .still without a job... .or real drive to get one other than a token attempt here and there... .but taking an interest in cooking! Who knew! I want to shout it from the rooftops that there is something she is finally excited about! It seems so strange that to other families without BPD in them it would seem she is living such a nothing life but to have her send pics or call to ask about how to cook something has brought a new light to my little part of the world:) I find there are few people I can share this with and am so thankful for a few family members who understand and the BPD forum here.

Little victories that help our BPDs build a little confidence are huge! Now to getting a job and actually HELPING her bf pay the bills. But for now he seems happy with her cleaning house and cooking meals... .hooray for baby steps! Thanks again for all each one of you shares... .you are an inspiration to me in this journey!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[qcarolr]

  So glad you have this chance to enjoy a more peaceful home, and share a more positive connection with your D.

qcr  

[js friend]

OH yes it is definitley the little things that we learn to appreciate the most.

Its so nice that your dd wants to share this new hobby with you.

I always used to say that I would have to die before my dd even got me a glass of water when she lived at home but since leaving she has invited me over and cooked a few meals for ME which I have really enjoyed. Sometimes I ll go and cook for her too which she enjoys so she can put her feet up with gd.

Its these little things which we understand that brings a touch of normalcy into our lives.

[Bonus mom]

I'm so happy for you, and I thank you for sharing your good news!  You've given me hope that our own daughter who is 17 will also take the same steps! 

She recently left to stay with her bio mom full-time, so I completely understand what a relief it is to have that space

Wishing you well,

Bonus mom

[vivekananda]

good stuff here mom2bkl thanks for sharing.

Yep it's those little things that keep hope alive... .realistic hope. And yes, it is easier to validate with a bit of distance - everything is easier with a bit of distance. Just keep on at it and building your relationship. You are modelling to your dd how she can live, not by achieving success in the material world, but by achieving happiness in the emotional world. The changes you are undertaking with yourself, are the changes she has to undertake to recover from her BPD... .or something like that 

we are keen to hear of successes, it keeps our own hopes alive.

Cheers,

Vivek