Getting regulated; making repairs in r/s

[qcarolr]

DD27 and I had shift away from fear driven anger with in her call from jail yesterday. She came on the phone asking for me to stop being angry, she just needs to hear a friendly voice. Can I come visit her this week to explain what is happening.

breathe, breathe, smile. The we talked about the tragic weather, the rumors in jail, what I knew for the news. She actually asked about gd and the dogs. Three days - DD being in a managed place for 3 days usually helps her become more regulated. She also got moved to the womens dorm pod that requires daily classes. She had good experience here in August before I bailed her out to heal a severe skin infection. This time I reminded her what she can to for self-care while waiting for a response to her medical care request. She is putting toothpaste on her chin swelling to dry it out. Suggested she just tell the others it is a really bad acne. She laughed 

So I am looking for a sitter for gd on Weds after school. Visit in at 3pm - school bus comes at 2:50. I think I will find someone for the whole school year. This is my primary work at the office day - so a sitter will help even if I don't visit DD.

So relieved that the next wave is here. I will keep you posted.

qcr  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Thursday]

That's all so good!

Similar around here. Since getting a food server job that is actually pretty lucrative, SD is paying off a credit card bill that we took on recently to get her car repaired, is calling EVERY DAY! and having more than just "reporting in" conversations with her Dad. She has not  been staying with her GM, which is good since it means she is regulated enough for her friends to put up with her.

She purchased a new battery for her car all by herself and found someone to install it for her. She even admitted she could have done it herself because it looked so easy.

q- so glad you get a break, so glad she is calming down. So glad your DD was able to tell you what she wanted and that you had something to give. Win/win.

Look forward to your updates.

thursday

[qcarolr]

Trying to gain a more positive outlook.

As DD settles into a more regulated state, she expresses with clarity her belief she has done nothing wrong, she deserves none of the hardship she is enduring, how could I turn her in as her mom, ... .

Dh and I talked after gd in bed last night about the formula you propose. {Vivek  on other thread: mindfulness + compassion + plan = happiness}  We have lots of compassion, which without the mindfulness limits our ability to stick to a healthy plan. We are at least talking openly about this. What our values are, what we can guess about DD values from her actions (we cannot read her mind), and how they seem opposed to each other in every case.

Home with gd 2 more days due to extensive and continuing flooding in our areas. Still raining today, the it should be done for a week. To think a week ago we were talking about the continuing drought effects!

qcr  

[vivekananda]

well apart from droughts and floods and fires (recently bad fires in the first days of spring here, in Sydney). The world may be going to pieces, but We Have Good News!   

So pleased qcr to hear that it is beginning to work. The time away from drugs (hopefully there are none in jail) would be doing wonders for a start  .

Oh Thurs it's is enough to bring tears to the eyes. Such little things have so much meaning don't they? Let's keep fingers crossed that she can slowly build on this.   

Good news lightens the heart eh?

Vivek