need some advice

[dickL]

uBPDw of 35yrs childhood sexual abuse, repeated failed romances while married , lies to cover , blames me for all etc . she started with new T 3wks ago and I fear she is manipulating her T . w has been in more than one violent episodes w/other men's women ,suicide attempt, has unprotected sex, and lost her jobs . she fits 10 0f 10 in BPD rating but her T assures her she's not that ill. I did a stupid thing recently which hurt her feelings and I apologized telling her it was a me problem and I needed to work with my T on it no,dice war returned , she went to dating sites and then lied when I confronted her . her past is her present . I piss her off and she runs to a man , then the infidelity is my fault. she has no empathy and will not "grovel" with apologies to me. have no $ to divorce . I think 40yrs of repeated dangerous behavior that could be life threatening would make her T take her illness more seriously

[wishfulthinking]

If you don't have kids, most states offer the divorce forms free, you just pay filing fee. I've printed mine and have them waiting for my decision.

[dickL]

I have been told if you're on public employee retirement  requires court to divide it between parties, we had a dissolution signed and filed last feb. I dressed up and went to the magistrates office met w/my att and waited for her to show and end this disaster , she didn't show and thought we'd discussed working our problems out and she thought that's what was happening. the truth was I went to court to end it and there had been no discussion of reconciliation. it was obvious that I got dressed , drove 40mi to court to drop it ,no, that can be done by phone. she lied to confuse the facts .we have a special adult son living w/us and it all is so hard for him , she used to use him in her boyfriend skeems as there "uncles"and sent him with them. bring men in our home while I worked with our son present, she assures me nothing happened in our home , right! she's so BPD it's sad.

[wishfulthinking]

Wow, I'm so sorry. I feel for you. I basically just told mine I don't care anymore and to do what he wants. I don't think he realizes that works both ways... .In Missouri I do know the forms are free. Just have to pay filing fee of $135.00 An adult child should not pose a problem. Not sure about the state you are in.

Mine just walked out the door because I asked who he drank with today when he was supposed to be meeting a customer. He questions me constantly, I've never given him reason to think I'd cheat. I just did what he does to me. He doesn't like it. I told him he wins, I don't care anymore... .

We will see if leaves with that. I wish you the very best of luck.