six months part and still she contacts

[simplyasiam]

after all this time my exBPD g/f still makes contact atleast a couple times a week. about a month ago i couldnt deal with her saying she wanted to be back togther but not making it happen.

i stoped replying about a month ago but no reply only seemed to fuel her neeed to contact as it came more and more often. this past tuseday nite it got to the point she was begging for me to talk to her. i ask talk about what her answer was i quess to tell you thanks for always puting up with me and doing so much for me you should be with someone better than me. all her emails up to this point were about checking in on me making sure im ok knowing now what she lost and for me not to worrie krama got her.

strange to me it was all wrote in presente tense. as we have been apart so long.


i do want to be with her again if she will get the help she needs and stick to it

i took two day to reply to her last email.

i told her today that if shes not married and not pregant and wants to rebuild our family and shes willing to get help and stick with it im willing to start talking to her again. also told her if she is married now or pregant or unwilling to get help or dosent want to rebuild plz dont contact anymore as i need this part to be over one way or the other and nomore emails phone only!

very stress full day wondering if i did the right thing. very confused about everything at the minute.

any support or adive would be helpfull

[Surnia]

Being under constant contact attempts while detaching from a difficult rs is very difficult. 

You stated your boundaries and your values to her. I am wondering about this: What do you fear more, that she will contact you or that she will not contact you?

[simplyasiam]

that she will not! its been 5 days now dont seem as if she will

[Surnia]

that she will not! its been 5 days now dont seem as if she will

As hard as it is, perhaps it is time to face that she will not change, like reaching out for a T or something similar.

[simplyasiam]

hello surnia. your right and i understand and im starting to see that she may never get better and never really try and help herself. i can only try and help myself just not sure ive got it in me.

[Surnia]

Please don't give yourself up, simplyasIam.

You can do it, perhaps you need some support, and we are here for you too. 

[simplyasiam]

thank you again, im not giving up on myself... .i cant i have live. i just dont know if i have it in me to stop wanting her back. its been 7 days ago that i told her my trems for us having contact and shes not repiled so maybe shes done with it, her not making contact will be only way for now that i can let it totaly go.