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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Got a new iPhone to heal  (Read 349 times)
hopealways
aka moving4ward
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« on: October 18, 2013, 09:27:13 PM »

So I got a new iPhone and it has really helped me heal? The old phone had her photos on it, text messages that I couldn't get myself to erase, all sorts of things.  Let's face it, we are addicted to our phones and the one we carried while we were with her was precisely the one we stared at when she sent us those raging texts or when we waited to see if she would write to us.

NO MORE! The fresh new one is nice and blank, I did not transfer any of the old stuff over.  Clean slate.  And it has helped tremendously.  Think about getting a new phone. Doesn't have to be an iPhone, just something clean to celebrate a new beginning.
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Ironmanrises
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« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2013, 10:06:49 PM »

Very smart... .

And forward thinking... .

Hope.

I can imagine... .

That can only help.

A fresh start.

If this phone wasn't so new... .

I would do the same.

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eeyore
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« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2013, 10:10:17 PM »

 Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)  I am all for fresh starts!
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hopealways
aka moving4ward
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« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2013, 10:12:33 PM »

What great is that the sounds it makes when a new message comes in, the colors, everything is different so I no longer have that Pavlovian response ever time I get a new text message.

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peas
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« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2013, 11:01:14 PM »

Hope, I have been thinking about doing the same thing for the past month! Thing is, I love my two-year-old Droid Pro because of the keyboard. But I have thought all the same things as you: just pack away the phone with the photos of me and my ex, the saved texts -- both nice and mean ones, his phone number, etc., and start fresh.

Besides my ex's ghost lingering on that phone, it would be good to clear out some details of the past two years of my life and start new anyway. Not that I had a bad two years (was with ex seven months), but I really am holding on to junk that I should lose. Since I met the uBPDex, my life changed dramatically, partly because of him and partly because of timing on a job and I had to relocate and I have been seriously resisting the changes. I have to let go of a lot more than my failed r/s.

Thank you for the helpful input.

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hopealways
aka moving4ward
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 725


« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2013, 11:08:54 PM »

Peas you don't need to buy an iPhone, just a NEW phone, maybe a newer model.  I'm telling you - it helps SO MUCH! You're exactly right, all those photos and texts - just store them away and start holding what represents a new start, a new hope... .
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