BPD daughter & husband w/dementia

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hello. I have a 22 year old daughter with BPD. She and her one year old son live with my husband and I. I am a caregiver for my husband who has early onset dementia. We have been through a lot as a family because of the dementia, we lost everything and ended up moving to another state. I am visually impaired. My daughter works part time but I'm not sure how long this job will last. Her on again, off again fiancé and father of her child is not the rock she needs him to be. As a result, the financial and emotional stress of caring for everyone is getting to me. The worst part is the verbal abuse from my daughter. She's even hit me twice. I have no friends here. No support system. We live in a bad part of town but finances are so tight that I can't save the money for us to move. I don't see to drive and my daughter doesn't have a car. I love her but everyone says I should kick her out. They don't understand. She cannot cope on her own. She is in denial about her BPD and her boyfriend says she just needs to pray about it. I don't know how much more I can take.

[Namine8]

Hello. I have a 22 year old daughter with BPD. She and her one year old son live with my husband and I. I am a caregiver for my husband who has early onset dementia. We have been through a lot as a family because of the dementia, we lost everything and ended up moving to another state. I am visually impaired. My daughter works part time but I'm not sure how long this job will last. Her on again, off again fiancé and father of her child is not the rock she needs him to be. As a result, the financial and emotional stress of caring for everyone is getting to me. The worst part is the verbal abuse from my daughter. She's even hit me twice. I have no friends here. No support system. We live in a bad part of town but finances are so tight that I can't save the money for us to move. I don't see to drive and my daughter doesn't have a car. I love her but everyone says I should kick her out. They don't understand. She cannot cope on her own. She is in denial about her BPD and her boyfriend says she just needs to pray about it. I don't know how much more I can take.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hello Namine8,

So very happy to have you here with us.  I am so very sorry that you are dealing with so much stress without any support.  We are here to give you as much support as we can muster between all of us.

Do you take care of  your grandson while your daughter works?  How is the baby doing?

Do you have any resources that come into the home to help with your husband's care so you can have a break now and then?

We are here 24/7 to listen and give you support.



lbjnltx

[peaceplease]

Namine8,

You do have a lot going on.  Is your daughter in any therapy now?  How about you?  In any therapy to help you deal with all of this?

I can relate to dealing with dementia.  My mother has senile dementia.  It can be very overwhelming when you are the sole caregiver.  As lbj asked, do you have any type of respite?  Do you need help in finding any respite?

We need to put  on oxygen mask and take care of ourselves first, before we can take care of others.

My uBPDd  told me that she can not live by herself. This was a couple of years ago, when I told her that she can no longer live with me.  She yells at me quite a bit.  Anyways, she found that she likes being alone some time.    Has your dd ever been on her own?

I am so glad that you found this site.  There are many supportive people on this site.  Welcome to BPD family.

peaceplease