Update: No changes.No court hearing. One year after filing

[marbleloser]

Just an update.Haven't been on the forum in some time. I filed a little over a year ago. We still haven't had a hearing scheduled as of yet,due to the county courts being backed up and lack of funds. I'm still documenting as I know the time will come.

In the meantime,things are better. I've moved on with life while waiting for the hearing. It's refreshing

I get the kids more often than the schedule spells out.I knew this would happen too

For those just starting out,it's tough.The toughest thing you'll ever do,but you'll make it.On the other side,you'll have faced your fears,your anxieties,and most importantly,yourself,and the values you hold dear.I wish you all,and your children,the very best and Gods grace.

[DreamGirl]

So glad to hear that it's going well for you. 

[marbleloser]

Thank you DG!

[ForeverDad]

My lawyer said to be glad I'm in the county I'm in, it could be worse.  The county to the west chews up fathers and spits them out minus their wallets, the county to the east has one judge for everything is is backlogged like yours.

[marbleloser]

I'm lucky too FD. Our judge is said to be fair.Strict,but fair. It's kind of a blessing in disguise that it has taken so long. It's given time to calm down for both parties involved.We've gotten into the routine of the schedule and deviate from it when needed.We still have had a few blowups,but it's been relatively calm for a few months now.

I think we both feel less triggered around one another.LC helped in this regard.

[livednlearned]

I'm lucky too FD. Our judge is said to be fair.Strict,but fair. It's kind of a blessing in disguise that it has taken so long. It's given time to calm down for both parties involved.We've gotten into the routine of the schedule and deviate from it when needed.We still have had a few blowups,but it's been relatively calm for a few months now.

I think we both feel less triggered around one another.LC helped in this regard.

Same with my judge: strict but fair.

Glad to hear things are going ok for you!

How are your kids doing?

[nevaeh]

For those just starting out,it's tough.The toughest thing you'll ever do,but you'll make it.On the other side,you'll have faced your fears,your anxieties,and most importantly,yourself,and the values you hold dear.I wish you all,and your children,the very best and Gods grace.

Thank you for posting this... .just the encouragement I need as I move closer to leaving my uBPDh of 18 years.  What you say above is what I know will be true for me as well.  Right now the fear of taking that step of telling H I want a divorce is paralyzing.  I know it will be very hard and right now I can't imagine how I am going to get through the first few months.  It is so encouraging to read your post. 

[marbleloser]

Hi LandL 

Thank you!The kids are doing relatively well.Schoolwork is a bit under what I'd like,but in the grand scheme,it's not terrible.

They've adjusted to the schedule enough that they even know the days they'll be with me or their mom.

They were able to stop going to therapy as their T said she saw a vast improvement in them,but if she's ever needed,she's there. Sweet lady!

9 yr old has begun to take responsability for his medical diet on his own,at least when he's with me.I don't get the " You're mean because you make me do this" anymore.He just does it.His doctors are thrilled,as am I!They went out of their way to compliment him on his progress.It made him feel great

[marbleloser]

javamom, You're welcome! 

This is a great place to be to vent,cry,or just get help with strategy.It's good to have a place to bounce ideas off from other people.Good people!

I'll give you this advice.Take time to breathe.Don't take everything personally.Don't respond or feel you need to respond to every accusation,email,text,or phonecall. Your lawyer will be hired to represent you.Let them do the worrying.You concentrate on yourself and documentation of events. Don't put your life on hold while you're going through it. It may take a long time,and the stress will burn you out. You need to keep living forward.