udBPDh Wants to hit someone

[gbpacker48]

Hello Everyone,

Today my udBPD husband started raging and went crazy.  My sons grades are not as good as they could be.  Everything is about image and he knows the principal.

The bottom line with a BPD is they want to esculate a situation because then they can release their anger that they have built up inside. If only he could fight he could release his built up anger. 

It was hard but I told him and meant it "If you touch anyone I am calling the police.  We do not need to esculate this as it won't do any good.  We will take things away."  "Then I said you just want to fight" Then my h walked away. 

Thank God.  My h has been in a mood since his drinking buddy left for 6 months.  Also his business was shut down even though he had months to fix the problems. How can one help a BPD get back on the track of normalcy?  After 30 years of h I have PTSD which is triggered when he acts like this. 

[Vindi]

stick with your boundaries w/calling the police if he does hit someone or start a fight. He must have some pent up rage he may want to get rid of. Give him the space and time out that he needs and just make sure he doesn't get physical with you or your children.

Only he can help himself with getting back on track with normalcy, is he willing to talk to a therapist, cuz it seems like he has been going thru alot of issues in the past months

[Traumatized]

Mine started a fight with someone on the street and got punched in the face!

A short time later she started telling me how badly she wanted to punch ME in the face!  She wanted to at least knock a tooth out.  Then it escalated to her throwing drinks in my face, hitting me on my arm as hard as she could and finally shoving me to the floor as hard as she could... .which really hurt!

I reported her to the police when she was only in the threatening to slowly torture and murder me phase, but did not have the heart to do it when she actually started assaulting me.  The police said she definitely would be arrested.  She's already on the war path against me, and I didn't want to provoke her further.

[gbpacker48]

 Hello Vindi and Badly Abused,

Thank you for the advice Vidi because I know you are right.  Time and space helps him decompress.  We have 7 children 5 are adults, we have 8 grandchildren.  There are two 14 y olds at home.  The therapist idea is not going to happen as there is nothing wrong with him but it's all me.  We really don't fight because I leave him alone and accept the way it is most of the time unless it's absolute or a boundary. 

BadlyAbused it sounds like you have it rough.  What really has helped me knock on wood and continues to is having safe places to go.  When I see my h walking down the hall with a clenched fist thats a clue he's wants to blow.

We have actually moved into a my trailer at my Dad's where it is set up nicely for us when my h is moody.  My Dad is aware of my h's tantrums and did that after h broke my wrist 4y a go. Since then there again knock on wood he has behaved. If h is just moody I retreat to the bottom floor for a few days and he is upstairs I have everything I need downstairs.  The thing is in 30y he's been violent maybe 7 times but not with the children.  Our children and grandchildren love him.  Although he doesn't always have interaction as he is in the bedroom watching tv or on computer, he is always there for them if they need him.

My h is usually not emotionally or physically there for me but he can if he absolutely has to be.  Regardless I love him and wouldn't want to leave him because of our children.  It is what it is. 

The sunshine helps puts a little joy into my life it's Feb. in Michigan that's rough for him without sun he has issues. 

Take Care!