A hope for DD16 - Today is intervention day

[Parents! Get help here!]

brilliant!

at least you can breath easy till December 8

that is a relatively long time

so much can happen in the meantime

hope you get a chance to decompress and take care of yourself and your family

[six]

brilliant!

at least you can breath easy till December 8

that is a relatively long time

so much can happen in the meantime

hope you get a chance to decompress and take care of yourself and your family

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[MammaMia]

Crumblingdad

That is awesome.  Your dd now has a personal mentor and a positive influence to follow.  I hope she meets the author and has an opportunity to speak with him/her. It could be a life-changing event.

Hang in there.  There will be bumps in the road ... .but every time a pothole is avoided is a huge.  

[qcarolr]

crumblingdad -

It can make such a difference when someone can get through that they really care -- that your DD is worth effort. These positive experiences, especially in a 'safe' place can have a long term impact.

You are a awesome dad - never giving up - keep on loving.

qcr

[crumblingdad]

Update on DD16 progress at Newport Academy:

This Friday and Saturday was a combo of parent orientation as well as their semi-weekly parent day on Saturday.

DD16 looks so much better after a week which is encouraging.  Her compliance has been a rollercoaster but she has been showing some limited signs of compliance which comes and goes.  Took a step backward Saturday as I mistakenly left vehicle unlocked and somehow she snuck over to it on a walk with others and got into it to steal her cigarettes she had left in glove compartment.  Got a call from director after we left Saturday that her and a new male resident were conspiring and walking outside to smoke and telling staff tough luck and defying rules on smoking several times. She finally gave up the cigarettes to director but they are working out how to overcome the issue.  She has made it a distraction since giving them up and refusing participation in school time at facility until they "let her have cigarettes and allow her to smoke."  They have a policy against e-cigs but they are thinking about relaxing that policy as a compromise just so they can refocus on bigger picture of where she needs help with her BPD, heroin addiction and sex addiction.

Friday and Saturday ended up being a lot of group sessions with the other parents of 2 other girls in facility.  We all shared our frustrations and struggles amongst us.  We covered the rules and had visits with the kids both Friday and Saturday.  They also brought in some other people Saturday morning to hold a make-shift al-anon group meeting to help and encourage us all to utilize al-anon and find resources for supporting ourselves.  We also all spent some time discussing and owning our own pieces to our children's recovery with a goal of working towards rewriting a new story rather then telling the stories of the past repeatedly.  Finally had a dinner with all the girls and residents as well as a group therapy session with parents and the children in the home for open discussions.  Our DD16 hates being center of discussion so was very limited involvement but it was a start.

At this point they've done psych evals with our DD16 and the psychiatrist and they also have multi-tier approach as they find multiple counselors can see stuff that maybe one individual can't.  She's involved in daily group time with other residents, four hours of school each day, she has a family counselor, recovery counselor, and a third counselor so she gets individual sessions with multiple psychologists.  They base everything thru a combo of DBT approach as well as 12-step but they don't consider themselves a DBT facility as they try to use the approach in a different manner so the kids don't get too caught up in the term "dbt" in case they've had negative experiences with it (like ours has).   They also have her attending both yoga and MMA weekly as well as taking them into town for 12 step meetings and have taken them to AA as well as Al-anon and Al-ateen meetings.  Equine therapy will also begin this week.  Nutrition is a big thing as well as they don't allow sugar and have a chef who prepares primarily organic meals and do a lot of nutrition counseling to help with eating disorders.

Again - our DD16 remains a big challenge for them as she is the most defiant and certainly up and down with compliance in various activities.  I'm still very concerned with her message that she insists she plans to relapse when she leaves.  However, I'm also cautiously optimistic and thrilled she has a place with competence and an opportunity and some hope - and most importantly is truly safe as long as she's there.

[qcarolr]

crumblingdad

Sounds like a really excellent place for your D. Give them time to work with her, and her time to experience all they are putting in front of her daily. The family support/involvment is so important, and this facility seems to really get this.

Thanks for the update.

How are you doing today?

qcr

[crumblingdad]

Thanks QCR - The relief of having her in a safe place always leaves me far more at peace.  Right now feeling a lot of relief she's in capable hands and enjoying the peace that comes with it.

Still remain very fearful and anxious of the results of all this (financially the retirement tank was emptied for this program so there's essentially no real financial resources left if it doesn't work) and what lies ahead for a plan when she leaves.  We've definitely decided that returning home given her circle of friends probably can't happen and we will work with Newport to figure out an outpatient plan - there's been talk of me moving as I doubt her mom can or will or maybe letting her move on her own and find a sober living arrangement.

So right now working on trying to let go a bit of "fixing things" and not focus on what lies ahead too much and control what I can and let the process run it's course.

[qcarolr]

How long will our D be able to stay in this program?

qcr

[crumblingdad]

I've paid for 60 days - it's generally a 45-90 day program and theyve gotten some initial approval from insurance so depending on what insurance pays I may be able to keep her there for 90 days.  They generally want the first 30 days to assess a gameplan on length of stay and outpatient before they say for sure.  My goal is to keep her there for as long as possible since it will only increase the likelihood of success.

[qcarolr]

 

qcr

[ConflictedxAMillion]

I am so happy for you.  I was wondering about you and your daughter.  I hope in time she will embrace all the efforts by you, her mom and the facility.

My daughter left for texas Saturday to go live with her boyfriends parents.  She too is a heroin addict.  She is in full withdrawals in a strange place with no family.  In the week before she left she broke into my parents apartment and stole money, she stole money from the bowling alley and from a longtime friend.  Today I found out that she got caught shoplifting at Walmart before she left and she admitted to the cops that she broke into my parents apartment.  So I imagine they will file charges on that.  She was supposed to call the States Attorney here in VT and give them permission to talk to me.  But since that conversation she is no longer returning calls or texts and I don't believe she contacted the States Attorney.

Maybe my D needs the legal action that your D got.  Maybe I should step back as you did a little and maybe the same may happen for us.  My D is 21 though, so it kills me to know that these charges will follow her the rest of her life.

I wish you continued improvements with your D and her participation in the program.  I will be thinking of you and her.  Keep posting, I find your postings give me hope, and can only imagine it does for others as well.  Thanks for that.

[crumblingdad]

Just a brief update (really it'll be brief this time   )

Have only spoken to DD16 a few times in the last week.  Her mom went today for family counseling/visitation day.  They offer it every two weeks on Saturday but we wanted to go to those both separate and together to allow working on individual issues our DD has with each of us as well as those we have together being divorced but co-parenting. So I go every two weeks on Saturday and her mom goes every four on Saturdays and inserts every four on Mondays so there is a mix of us going alone and together.

She is still non-compliant with a lot at Newport.  My insurance is balking because of the non-compliance and did a utilization review last Friday.  They said they'd only agree to cover anything for another week to see if compliance improved and if it didn't they have suggested she be sent to a wilderness program for 30 days then returned to Newport after.

I'm not sure how I feel about this as their has really been little or no real evidence that supports wilderness programs as effective for BPD...  Her mom came back today feeling she is continuing to improve despite her non-compliance and did partake in their family counseling as well as school today and said she's saying some things that are encouraging.

I will be visiting this Saturday so hopefully her compliance improves dramatically this week so we aren't faced with the decision of sending her off to wilderness program in the midst of Newport's program.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Phoenix.Rising]

crumblingdad,

I'm thrilled to hear your daughter is in a safe environment.  I'm hoping the best for you and your family.  Your love, courage, and determination shines through in your words.  You must feel exhausted at times, but keep putting one foot in front of the other.  You are in my prayers.

Phoenix.Rising

[lbjnltx]

I'm not sure how I feel about this as their has really been little or no real evidence that supports wilderness programs as effective for BPD...  Her mom came back today feeling she is continuing to improve despite her non-compliance and did partake in their family counseling as well as school today and said she's saying some things that are encouraging.

I will be visiting this Saturday so hopefully her compliance improves dramatically this week so we aren't faced with the decision of sending her off to wilderness program in the midst of Newport's program.

Thanks for updating crumblingdad.

I agree that wilderness isn't the most effective therapeutic environment for pwBPD.  I also recognize that it can be a highly effective first step in preparing for residential treatment.  Reliance on others, team work, and learning that one has the strength within to survive and accomplish much is valuable.  The wilderness experience can break through the tough outer covering in a short time, RTC may be able to accomplish this as well... .and it can take up valuable time.

It's hard to know what the right thing to do is... .

[crumblingdad]

Visited DD16 this weekend for their parent weekend they hold every two weeks (she has now been there 3 full weeks).

Had a Al-anon meeting on Saturday that they hold for parents first off then got into discussions on plans for when it's time to discharge.  We all agreed we don't have a good plan right now for DD16.  We also did a open family group counseling session with the 2 other families and all 5 girls in the facility.  It's an interesting dynamic.  Our dd got angry during it and stormed outside but they had me go outside to discuss with her and she explained she was anxious due to something a counselor said.  She calmed down quickly, I used some validating comments as wshe explained her feelings and then waited a few minutes and politely asked her to try coming back in and just sitting through remainder of the group session.  She did and the remainder went without incident.  The two of us then had a family counseling session with their family therapist which also went really well.

This was the first week she complied the entire week so it was a very good week overall.

She still isn't sure if she wants to stay sober but she's being honest about it so that's all we can ask and she is now participating in activities and group sessions as well as the schooling piece.  So wilderness idea has been pushed to the wayside for now and she moved from the level 0 you enter facility up to level one on Saturday when I got there.  So she is now allowed make-up and they don't allow sugar for most part but she had committed to getting to level one in exchange for a few snickers bars as a treat.  Her new bargaining is for an e-cig and director is open to discussing with the owner to make an exception for her since her desire to smoke cigs is such a distraction and would rather keep focus on bigger and better things.


  They removed the two males they had in the facility to their California facility as they try to keep them segregated but since CT location is new they are still building a seperate building for the boys and were trying to keep a few in same house.  It became too much of a distraction and with them leaving it's helped our daughter with compliance.  She had snuck out several times to smoke cigarettes with one in previous week as well as snuck to his room at night twice to have sex so they shipped them to california and won't allow any more males until the seperate building is completed due to the distractions it caused.

So the future remains uncertain, and no clue what that looks like.  The staff and the program are excellent and are really connecting and handling things constructively as well as anyone has with our DD.  They've encouraged us to attend Al-Anon meetings while she's there which I've been starting to do. That has been helpful in learning to let things take their course and learning to be able to detach with love when it's necessary and appropriate and take things one day at a time.

[Phoenix.Rising]

I used some validating comments as wshe explained her feelings and then waited a few minutes and politely asked her to try coming back in and just sitting through remainder of the group session.  She did and the remainder went without incident. 

This is good stuff!  I remember when I first noticed that using validation can change the dynamics.  It was a big eye opener.  I think pwBPD feel misunderstood most of the time, and the reality is that they probably are.  Their 'reality' is often based on their feeling states, which are usually quite different from our's.

Al-Anon is a wonderful program, in my opinion.  I learned a lot about acceptance, letting go, and the importance of taking care of me in Al-Anon.  I hope you are taking time for you as well, Crumblingdad.  Baby steps... one step at a time. 

[Rapt Reader]

Thanks so much for the update, crumblingdad 

It sounds like your daughter is a hard nut to crack, but it also seems like this facility has a handle on that, and is doing a great job with her. Do you have any idea how long she may be there, or is it dependent on her progress, or your Insurance Company, or something else? I'm glad the boys are gone now (what a distraction! Geesh... .), and I'm sure your daughter isn't the only patient there who is now benefitting from the change 

It also sounds like you are learning a lot from this Family Therapy, and this Program seems to be very astute and inclusive; good going! I'm glad you are all involved and working on this; for your daughter to continue the recovery process once she's out of the Program, it will be imperative for you--her parents--to be on the same page and doing the right things. When she is discharged they will probably give you a recovery plan to follow, and contacts for help if you need it.

After my BPDson36's stay at his Dual Diagnosis Program, he got better and better every day (he's now almost 9 months clean and sober from Heroin and all other drugs and alcohol!), but it did/does take the cooperation of the whole family for this to happen. You are doing all the right things, and coming here and keeping us in the loop can only support and help you. Thanks again for this update, crumblingdad!

[Someday . . .]

I'm so glad to hear that things are steadily improving.  I agree that Al-anon is amazing. . since your daughter has more of a drug addiction than alcohol addiction, have you thought of going to Nar-anon?  You can always google it and see if there is a meeting near you.    For me, it was easier to connect with others who had a family member who had drug addictions rather than ones going through alcohol addictions.

[crumblingdad]

I'm so glad to hear that things are steadily improving.  I agree that Al-anon is amazing. . since your daughter has more of a drug addiction than alcohol addiction, have you thought of going to Nar-anon?  You can always google it and see if there is a meeting near you.    For me, it was easier to connect with others who had a family member who had drug addictions rather than ones going through alcohol addictions.

I've been seeking a nar-anon group and would rather do that but they are scarce in my area.  The closest one to my home is an hour away on a night I'm usually traveling for work. So I've been monitoring their meeting boards since I travel for work but have yet to find one in a place that is local to where I'm working on the right night. 

[crumblingdad]

So I went off the BPD Family board grid for the last week or so - I will say the reprieve of DD16 being in RTC has allowed me to be able to "escape" after the last 3 years of constant stress, at least some.   So haven't logged on in a bit.

Hopefully this update isn't too long winded… but I anticipate it might be   My apologies in advance.

Tomorrow our DD16 will be DD17.  Today was also parent weekend and may have been the most moving day I've experienced since this journey began 3-4 years ago with our DD's struggles with BPD and addiction.

As I mentioned before the CEO/Founder, Jameson Monroe, of Newport Academy where she is had a conversation with our DD on her first few days there and she had asked him if he knew who Nic Sheff was and he said yes.  Our DD was non compliant and didn't want any part of an RTC, rehab, or mental health help.  She explained she was going to be just like him as she saw him as an icon that she identified with and he relapsed numerous times with his addiction. Jameson said, well if I got him to come speak on your birthday would you like that and she replied, "of course."  He then said "well you'll have to stay here till your birthday then" and this was a major turning point in her first few days there of deciding she'd be willing to stay.

So Newport made it happen and today Nic Sheff came to the facility to speak.  For those who don't know he is the author of "Tweaked" and "We all Fall Down" which cover his journeys through addiction and his father, David Sheff, wrote from a father's perspective "A Beautiful Boy" (which I highly recommend for any parents on the board with kids suffering addiction - although I highly recommend all 3 if you've got a loved one facing addiction). When our DD said all this she had no idea Nic was sober and thought he was still in relapse.  He's been clean and sober for going on 6 years now and speaks regularly around the country to teens about addiction and recovery.

He came and spoke of his story and his experiences with RTC's and rehabs and the puzzle of recovery for himself.  It was inspiring and amazing.  He also took the time to sit down with our DD for at least 20 minutes where she spoke to him candidly that she wasn't sure she could commit to sobriety and the way they connected. The encouragement he gave her to stay sober was just amazing. He's asked her to stay in touch after she leaves Newport and wants to maintain contact to see how she does.  She admitted to him she didn't realize he was sober when this all began and he said, "well sorry to disappoint you and laughed and she commented, "no don't be sorry because if you can do it maybe I actually can too."  

As for the program she's had some major advances, she broke down during group meeting with all the parents and girls in the program today and communicated all the guilt she feels for not making use of all the opportunity she's had to work on herself and how she had planned to kill herself the week she got arrested by overdosing on heroin.  She detailed her plans to shoot it into her neck and that she knew where a dealers stash was that she intended to steal to take enough to be sure it killed her.  She feels she has taken the opportunity and love and support all for granted.  

There are truly signs she's really making efforts and staff says she's been compliant for about 2-3 weeks consecutively and participating with only occasional hiccups.

She's never been given a true diagnosis of BPD and I've known without doubt for at least 6-8 months but at Newport no one has acknowledged it for certain as a diagnosis until today.  Her recovery counselor spoke to me and said in passing how I was right about her BPD and I said, "what? wait? no one has acknowledged this as a diagnosis to me?"  She explained that it's not something they focus on as they don't typically even tell the kids in program of the diagnosis.  They'd rather focus on the therapy and recovery rather then letting them get caught up on a diagnosis or terminology and so as a result it's not openly discussed.  The staff knows and understands the complexities of BPD and her diagnosis and they are working on treating it accordingly.  It was somewhat of a relief to finally have a professional validate what I've known for so long and a diagnosis I've discussed and been met with so much resistance too outside of Newport.

Overall I'm more hopeful then I've been in years, it's a long uncertain road ahead still. A few months ago I didn't expect my DD to be alive for her 17th birthday yet tomorrow morning I'll be returning to Newport with her sister, nephew and grandmother to see her again.

I must say, without all of the support here on bpdfamily that helped me understand the chaos of BPD and guide me to resources to get her help along with the amazing family and friends who've supported us and some incredible people like Jameson Monroe and the Newport Staff along with loving caring individuals like Nic Sheff who flew across the country to help our DD there's no way she'd be alive today.  


Thank you to all of you here at bpdfamily - hopefully things continue to head in the right direction and I can someday pay it all forward.  I do believe their truly is hope for all our loved ones with this terribly complicated illness and when I came to the board hope was not an emotion I could comprehend.

[qcarolr]

Crumblingdad

Thanks so much for this update of hope. It is awesome the family support your DD has, and they are there for you too. It is complex and seems to impact our kids in so many different ways as they learn ways to survive the chaos. So glad your DD seems to be finding a new path.

qcr

[Phoenix.Rising]

I hear progress, Crumblingdad.   

Happy    to you and your family.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Someday . . .]

Crumbling Dad, I am soo happy and thrilled for you that your daughter is beginning to get with the program and seeing hope!   That is phenomenal that the facility arranged for Nic Sheff (?) to give a talk on his journey with addiction, and equally amazing that he has been clean and sober for six years and your daughter wasn't aware of that, which resulted in an incredible message for her.  I imagine that your daughter got a LOT out of that talk, plus the personal conversation she had with him afterwards.  I can't say how happy I am that she's currently in an emotionally better place!   

I look forward to your updates, and so glad that you are having a bit of a respite.  May all continue to go well . . .

[raytamtay3]

Crumbingdad - You give me hope.  Aside from the heroin use (DD14 uses marjuana and tested postive for cocaine which she insists was in the marjiana she spoked), our stories are very similiar. Please keep us updated on your progress.  ONE of My DD's court dates is next month and I'm requesting a court order for a RTC.

[crumblingdad]

Been a while so time for an update.  Unfortunately not where we hoped things would be at.  DD17 has now been in Newport for about 65 days.  Things have been up and down and she showed signs of great improvement which sort of came to a halt just before Christmas.  We and staff decided to send her to their California facility on Christmas Eve with the hopes of getting her into sober living as they have better outpatient program around Cali facility and a sober living facility that will take 17 year olds.  She did take her GED while in CT facility.    Things were looking a bit optimistic but last Friday she decided she didn't want to do it anymore and ranaway with another girl from their Cali facility.  They tracked her down within 5 or 6 hours.  However, girl she ran came back with a positive drug test and our DD refused to take the test so we consider that a positive test.

Since it's not a locked facility they are concerned that she's now not complying again and will run again.  As a result they are recommending we move her into a longer term RTC and have recommended hiring a transporter to take her to Willow Creek RTC in Reno, NV.

Just got this news today.  Seems keeping her alive is better then dead and if she relapses she likely won't survive at this point and the risk of her running away in Orange County, CA more then 3000 miles from home is unnerving.

Anyone with any experience with Willow Creek?

[mggt]

DEar Crumb,  So sad to hear the news I was wondering and hoping things were well.  I have no info on new place you are sending her but I wanted to wish you all the luck and prayers in the world your a great Dad.  One minute at a time 

[Phoenix.Rising]

Crumblingdad,

I do not have experience with Willow Creek, but I wanted to offer my continued emotional support.  You are doing a great job!  One of the first thoughts I had when you said it's likely your daughter relapsed on drugs was that relapse in drug addiction recovery is more common than not.  Oftentimes it takes several relapses before sobriety 'takes'.  I know because I've seen this first hand over and over.  Ultimately, your daughter will have to make the decision herself, but you providing a facility for her is a huge help.  Keep putting one foot in front of the other.  How are you taking care of yourself?

[crumblingdad]

I've been taking pretty decent care of self - she's in a safe place and I attend both Al-anon and Nar-anon meetings pretty consistently and working the steps.

So Willow-Creek is now ruled out as insurance won't cover it.  They've made 3 more recommendations since, I all but lost it on 2 after finding some pretty damning reviews on 2 of the 3.

Diamond Ranch I rejected due to the dirt piles of stuff you can find on that program using peer intimidation and complaints of abuse and restraint.  Spring Ridge also rejected - in fact after I sent them info I found on both they were very apologetic they recommended it and pulled it from their lists of places.  We are looking at maybe Clearview Horizons in Montana but I'm taking issue with some of the policies.  They only allow family visits every 4 months and expect a 12-18 month enrollment.  Sorry but I have some real doubts with any facility that won't allow parents to see their kids for 4 months at a time - seems to me the family work is essential and isolating parents I can't see benefiting her and if anything, could add to abandonment issues.

I've countered with Newport's staff that if moving her is what we need to do maybe  90 days at Cottonwoods De Tuscon is the way to go and hoping if we tried that she'll be ready for sober living after rather then a long term RTC like some of the places they've suggested.    I was originally going to send her to Cottonwood at intervention in October but she refused and when faced with Detention Center and she agreed they had filled all their beds so she went to Newport instead.


Needless to say things are in a state of limbo and it's incredibly frustrating trying to figure out what will be best.  What I do know is she is going to flip out when she realizes she is going to be in RTC beyond February so not looking forward to that but trying to just keep in mind the tough decisions are often the best ones and I'd rather she be mad and hate me for a few months then dead on the streets with a needle in her arm.

[qcarolr]

Needless to say things are in a state of limbo and it's incredibly frustrating trying to figure out what will be best.  What I do know is she is going to flip out when she realizes she is going to be in RTC beyond February so not looking forward to that but trying to just keep in mind the tough decisions are often the best ones and I'd rather she be mad and hate me for a few months then dead on the streets with a needle in her arm.

I so get this part - the greatest desire is to keep our kids alive so they have the chances to change. You are staying on top of the suggestions. Your D is so lucky to have your love and care in all this. Maybe one day she will be able to acknowledge this to you.

Hang in there. Thanks for the update.

qcr

[crumblingdad]

Well I should know better this weekend as I am flying to California to see our DD17 tonight and spend some time with her tomorrow as well as do some family counseling at Newport Academy.

The last week has been a bit of a rollercoaster as they have made something like 5 or 6 suggestions for other facilities.  I have essentially found issues that I don't think make sense with all of them for our DD.  They suggested a "educational consultant" who does this stuff for me to speak to who's very experienced yesterday.  We spent an hour or two going over the option of sending her to a working ranch in Nevada.  However, after giving her my insight on my daughter she suggested "why don't you take what you have for insurance money being reimbursed so far to extend her stay at Newport? Then put her in their intensive outpatient program have her attend classes at a community college and transition into sober living out there since they have such an amazing outpatient program?"  I explained that was the original intent but they are afraid that she needs longer term and I said what about the ranch that I was iffy about.  She said, based on what we discussed her top recommendation is another 30-60 days at newport then transition to IOP and Sober living (she's very tight with their admissions director so told me to call her and let her know that's her recommendation).  So I spent time with her on phone last night which led to me being on phone with Jameson their founder and owner and they said if that's what I want to do let's do it.  I asked them to review with treatment team and be sure they didn't think I was completely off base.  My fear is moving her from one of the best programs in country to a lesser program long term could easily be as counter productive as anything and undo all the progress we've made. 

Over last few weeks my DD has turned corner and made a lot of comments since she ranaway she now sees she needs to step up her game and focus on herself not just her addiction issues.

She called after I got off phone with Jameson at Newport last night and said ":)ad when you come Saturday can you bring me something?"  I said sure what?  She replied, "I can't believe I'm saying this, no maybe I don't want this and if I tell you you'll get it but I don't know."  I said what?  She said "I was gonna have you get me a DBT workbook."   

I truly think she's turning a corner and maybe I'm wrong but I think the potential she is empowered by IOP and sober living might give her a shot.  If she relapses and falls apart we still all did the best we can and she'll be 18 in 10 months.  At some point she has to want this and do it on her own and locking her away in another facility to start over with new staff feels more damaging then constructive.

All i know is I feel good about following my instincts over the last week or so and I also am absolutely thrilled to get on a 6hr plane ride and go see my DD17 for the first time since Dec 23rd this weekend.

And thanks to all of you who have been such a great support for me to vent to and share the journey with throughout.


(PS I've learned there is a lot of really shady crap programs out there that want our money and wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of our children's illness with little true therapeutic value and solely as a source of profit.  I hope anyone who reads this will be VERY careful and scour the internet and scour resources to check places out so they find truly valuable RTC's.)

[Rapt Reader]

crumblingdad, this sounds so good! I agree with you that this plan sounds like the right one; you got the validation from the educational consultant and there really is value to your daughter being in the place where she's already fairly comfortable and showing progress. Her being comfortable with the Staff there is also good.

You've really been a rock for your family in this, and I think you are doing a great job. Hang in there; it sounds like she's getting better in a slow and steady way... . TLCs sometimes are the way to go for some of our children. Then when they are in recovery, they have the background to keep taking those careful little baby steps in a continuous way. May the recovery continue... .