Emotional basis?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hello,

I posted on New Members forum on 24th of October, from Eastern Europe. I wouldn't like to repeat my story here because it is painful and nasty.

I think my BPDbf is a waif type. He hasn't had a girlfriend for nearly half a year before we started the relationship. Until then I was something of his caretaker, or mother. ( He is 12 years younger )

Since we started, he has connected with 3 girls, in 5-6 months' time.

Now I'm sure he didn't want me, he wanted anybody to be there... .

Maybe I became an emotional basis for him? Is it possible that BPD sufferers built relationships easier, if they have an emotional backup?

Thanks for your help in advance.

[waver]

Hello,

I posted on New Members forum on 24th of October, from Eastern Europe. I wouldn't like to repeat my story here because it is painful and nasty.

I think my BPDbf is a waif type. He hasn't had a girlfriend for nearly half a year before we started the relationship. Until then I was something of his caretaker, or mother. ( He is 12 years younger )

Since we started, he has connected with 3 girls, in 5-6 months' time.

Now I'm sure he didn't want me, he wanted anybody to be there... .

Maybe I became an emotional basis for him? Is it possible that BPD sufferers built relationships easier, if they have an emotional backup?

Thanks for your help in advance.

[happylogist]

Hi waver,

My ex also was  a waif type and also loved to share with me dramatic stories about his women, at the same time telling me that he loved me. We have a bit similar stories - I also got involved while being married. I was ready and was doing a lot for him. Although I am a bit younger of him, at one point I also became his caretaker, even mother by forgiving and trying to understand many things that he did, including having me in his life in constant push and pull state. There were many confrontations between him and me about the future of our relationship, but I ended up always feeling guilty and dirty for raising these questions. I dragged it for foo long and I feel a lot of sadness seeing others in the same situation as I was.

It is only you who have to decide about the future of your relationship, but I think it is important for you to think at this point more on a) what you want and  b) if it includes him, whether it is feasible and realistic with him. I would recommend reading more now, the Workshop section provides a good basis for understanding not only a BPD person, but also ourselves.

Good luck!