Lawyer does not want childT (who favors me) to testify. Change lawyer or T?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My lawyer has not been on good terms with the child T and this therapist says it is unethical to testify, since she is there for my son... .not the courtroom.    But the T has stellar comments on my behalf so i want to judge to hear it.      My Lawyer says the Custody Evaluator will obtain those comments from the T.    But it might be watered down.     My lawyer may have offended the therapist, so my lawyer is now trying to give the therapist more business (seeing my son on a regular basis), but she won't testify.

I want a therapist that will testify and get the truth out... .not just a therapist for my son to see someone.      Should i change therapists or change lawyers?   Perhaps another lawyer will get the T to testify?   My lawyer walks on eggshells with the T and will not upset her more then she already has.     Or should i just listen to the lawyer and accept the T will not testify and talk with the Custody Evaluator instead?.   

[trappeddad]

My lawyer has not been on good terms with the child T and this therapist says it is unethical to testify, since she is there for my son... .not the courtroom.    But the T has stellar comments on my behalf so i want to judge to hear it.      My Lawyer says the Custody Evaluator will obtain those comments from the T.    But it might be watered down.     My lawyer may have offended the therapist, so my lawyer is now trying to give the therapist more business (seeing my son on a regular basis), but she won't testify.

I want a therapist that will testify and get the truth out... .not just a therapist for my son to see someone.      Should i change therapists or change lawyers?   Perhaps another lawyer will get the T to testify?   My lawyer walks on eggshells with the T and will not upset her more then she already has.     Or should i just listen to the lawyer and accept the T will not testify and talk with the Custody Evaluator instead?.   

[catnap]

It sounds as though your son's T is not going to be willing to testify irregardless of who your L is.  The CE is the one that the Judges appear to most listen to.  Is the T willing to speak with the CE?  If she assures you she will, then you will have to trust that the CE does their job.

My 2 cents for what it is worth.

[trappeddad]

Yes, the T will talk to the CE.   Thanks for the feedback

[livednlearned]

I want a therapist that will testify and get the truth out... .not just a therapist for my son to see someone.     

My son's therapist had us sign a waiver that she would not testify. I was worried about that, but in the end, it was the best thing. It means your T is committed to helping your son. He needs someone like that right now, a place where he has true confidentiality.

Your son's therapist is probably not a forensic psychologist -- that's why there are GALs and Custody Evaluators. So let the forensic psychologists do what they do, and let your son's T do what she does. It will be ok. It's best for your son.

[david]

T's usually don't want to go to court because they are working for their client only. They probably will talk to a CE though since things are more fluid and less legal.

It works with recording things too. A recording may be illegal in your state and not allowed in court but it could be useful in a CE. The CE would not write the fact that they heard recordings in their report but would use it if it was helpful.

Using a T in court like this would probably lead to objections by opposing counsel and would be disallowed by the judge or limited to the point of being useless.

[Seeking Peace]

I agree with everyone else.  Let the therapist talk to the custody evaluator.  An ethical therapist will not change their story about what they think about a child's situation just because one of the parent's lawyer's pissed them off.  People choose to work with children because they are interested in their mental health.  Your child needs a safe place to be, where what he says in therapy is kept confidential.   The custody evaluator will weave all the information together and come to a recommendation about custody.  They know how serious their jobs are.  I think you would also look bad if you pushed this. Additionally, you would be interfering with your child's relationship with his current therapist by changing him to a different one.  The next therapist, by the way, is going to take the same position of not testifying (or, if not, should, because a therapist cannot also serve as a custody evaluator for the same child).  I know you are scared that people won't hear the truth. I think that is something we all share here.