very sad

[doesshecare]

I am new to this group. I am overwhelming sad for my d. I tried all of her life to get her help. I was unsuccessful. I don't know how to help her and she has 2 small kids and single.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[doesshecare]

I am not sure how this works and I hope I am posting to the correct group. My adult daughter has BPD/bp. I am overwhelmed. I took her to Dr and counselor most of her life. Nothing worked. She blamed others since about 3 and I would try to make her understand her actions. Which after reading now i guess I did not validate her. I think I caused her BPD. I am so overwheling sad. Any advice?

[qcarolr]

doesshecare   

I am so glad you have found us. First - please be kind to yourself. You did the best you could as a parent - there are often genetic factors with BPD. This is especially true when things are so hard from an early age. I have been there. I was searching for help for my DD when she was 2. The last entry in her baby book is at 11 months about her tantrums. I have worked to learn all I could throughout her life - advocating for her at school, in neighborhood, with medical and mental health professionals.  This is so tough.

There is so much new researched based information available now that supports we parents. BPD is not caused by abuse or bad parenting. Now those things can make things worse -- we can always learn new tools to make it better. Our awesome neurological systems are flexible and can change -- as we change ourselves as parents there is often a positive impact on our BPDkids.

I invite you to check out the links at the right. They have given me my life back. My Dd is now 27. She still struggles yet is slowing moving in a more positive direction. We have a better relationship.

May I ask how old your D (daughter) is? How does her BPD show up? Is she in therapy? Does she accept that she needs help?

Keep coming back. We care - we understand.

qcr

[Learning_curve74]

Hi doesshecare. I'm sorry to see why you're here but still want to offer you a warm welcome to the community.  

You said your daughter is single with 2 kids. If you don't mind me asking, how old is she and how old are her kids? Has she been formally diagnosed with BPD? Can you tell us a little more about the specific challenges she is facing? What about yourself, what things are going on that are making you feel so sad?

Hang in there, doesshecare. I know you must love and care about your daughter very much to search for and have found this community. I hope that you find the help and support you are looking for here. There are many people here willing to listen to your story. Here is a hug for you because you deserve it.