Parent/Child Counseling Sessions

[bluebell7]

Any one have advice for Parent/Child sessions?  I was invited to get a therapist to help work through issues in sessions together with my daughter and her therapist.

On the one hand, my daughter's therapist seems surprised to hear the "other side" of what's going on at home.  Both therapists have demonstrated support for a healthy relationship.  But my daughter is not responsive to this.  She's stuck in denial and blame- we aren't moving forward.  My therapist's tries to say "... .ok so even if you are completely right in your complaints... .what do we do now".  My daughter responds by blaming her for being a terrible therapist... .feels that I'm not being told how to understand her better or to change- and she's being asked to do all of the changing.  I can see why she feels that way, because her position is not easy for her therapist to defend... .there's not much I can do about her... .umm... .can I say grudge?... .defiance... .?

Has anyone been through this sort of scenario?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[raytamtay3]

Yup.

[hopeangel]

I can certainly identify with what you are saying!

My daughter used to lie (although I do think she felt it was the truth at the time!)

She lied to all her support workers at one time, and when I used to call them, in desperation, they seemed very confused and surprised by the fact she had caring parents who were not abusive, hadn't poisoned her food and were desperately worried about her!

Its just some of the character-building stuff we need that plunged us right into the deep end in order to be able to cope for the long term!

That is what I tell myself anyway! 

[crazedncrazymom]

Hi Bluebell,

I sure get what you are saying too!  I think we've all been there to some extent or another.  Have you considered speaking to the counselor about meeting your daughter where she is right now?  No matter how badly she is behaving, that won't change with lectures from anyone.  She behaves this way.  How do you feel about it?  How can you move to accepting her behavior and creating your boundaries?  For instance, dd goes out and stays way past curfew.  You find this happening no matter how many punishments you give her (feel free to exchange this scenario with whatever is driving you crazy at the moment).  What now?  Where do your boundaries lie and how can we help you come up with a plan to enforce them?

-crazed