Mirtazapine / Remeron side effects in pwBPD - Help

[Ryyder]

My uBPDbf has been prescribed Mirtazapine for hyperthyroidism and it's sent him into a major depression.

He's only been on it a week and he's having a really bad time. He's just messaged me saying he needs to get away from everything (including the kids) and is going for a drive. This normally indicates the start of a suicide attempt/threats.

I don't know what to do. He was given a few phone numbers on a laminated card, to call if he needed help but he has it in his wallet or I'd call them myself.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Surnia]

Hi Ryyder

Tough situation I can understand you are worried.

Could you sent him a gentle message about him calling one of the numbers in his wallet? Perhaps along the SET format. You care about him, you feel for him in his bad time right now and that he has to be alone and that you think the best would be to call one of the numbers to contact a specialist.

If he says no, ask him for the numbers to call yourself.

[Ryyder]

I got another message saying he was back home and safe. Thats a first!

I was totally ready for a full blown drama.

He's still not talking to me though. How do I let him know I'm here for him whilst respecting (what appears to be) his need to be away from me right now?

[Ryyder]

still can't find the edit button 

I did suggest he called them but got no reponse

[Ryyder]

oh hang on... Ive just realized what may have contributed to his depression, it would have been his sons birthday around now.

His son died in 98, I think.

[Ryyder]

does this follow SET?

I'm here for you babe. I can see you're struggling. I understand this must be a very hard time for you. You don't have to cope alone.

[Surnia]

Perhaps this is a reason too for his depression, his sons birthday. If he remains depressed, it would be good anyway he would contact his doc.

About SET, the last part "you don't have to cope alone" I would word it more like this  "It would be good you could speak with your doctor."

[Ryyder]

thank you Surnia, I appreciate the clarification on using SET more effectively

[Surnia]

 

You may noticed I moved your topic to Staying.

How is your h doing today?

[Traumatized]

He's only been on it a week and he's having a really bad time.

I've been on mirtazapine for major depression before.  Any time I'd start a new medication my psychiatrist would tell me that they take a few weeks (or longer) to start working.  I don't know if a week is a long enough time to tell if it's the meds or something else that is causing his depression.  Hopefully he'll be okay and you will be too. 

[Ryyder]

How is your h doing today?

I'm not sure, he's gone 'cold' on me. He's gone from not being able to get enough of me to not wanting me around. I don't know what the hell is going on.