BPD in college

[jaynebrain]

My 20 year old daughter is a junior in college and is coming unraveled.  She did the same thing at the end of last semester.  She cannot get the work done due to extreme anxiety and procrastination.  She is furious with the Department of Disabled Students as they have not been helpful.  She of course doesn't know how to say what she needs and they probably are over worked and under funded and are terrified of this BPD student.  My question is - anyone know how to rescue what she has done right at college?  Legally?  Is there any recourse for the school to support her? Also, Sorority?  They are penalizing her because she cannot function enough to attend meetings, mixers etc.  Surely - if she couldn't walk there would be something they could do?  She is in intense DBT therapy and is sinking by the moment.  Any ideas?  I am a very frightened mom.  This seems like a repeat of High School which ended in hospitalization.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[trytrytry]

Dear Jaynebrain,

My DD27 took 6 years to finally get her AA degree at the local cc.  She took only one or two courses a semester, and still dropped out of many classes.  Like a turtle -slow, slow, slower.  I was paying for it.  At first I got angry, but then I figured she'd never finish with threats from me.  so slowly, so slowly it went.  Best wishes to you and your DD.  It sure wasn't what I was expecting from my family!

[femom]

I'm not sure I can offer any advice because I am in a similar situation with my child and she too falls apart from  anxiety which leads to not completing work.  BPD seems so much more complicated than many other issues that the disability services center is used to handling.  The semester is almost over, good luck!

[twojaybirds]

My dd is a sophomore and she is there too.  She might not be asked to come back next semester. 

She left campus for a week and returned with a made-up note from a made up dr about a made-up suicide attempt... but now is on new meds and under the new drs. care.  This was all to get out of having to make=up work. 

Well the school policy is a complete eval for a suicide attempt whi,ch is 4 appointments to make decisions.  She went to the first apt but has skipped the rest  because of course, they want to talk to this dr

hmmmm I wonder how she will manipulate this one... .

[jaynebrain]

Does anyone have any information or ideas on legal ramifications?  It would seem to me that having BPD is one of the more severe disabilities that a student can have?  Surely a state university should have some kind of plan?  How about a sorority?  My D is trying the best she can with the tools she has and is attending regular therapy/group DBT.  Anyone have any ideas?  If she had cancer there would be a plan!

[femom]

Given her diagnosis, your daughter should have a plan to accommodate her disability.  I know it won't help much now at the end of a semester, but maybe when she finishes exams she could meet with the disability services office and work out accommodations that would address the way she unravels at the end of the semester. 

[Rapt Reader]

Hi, jaynebrain, & 

I'm so sorry that you are having these problems regarding your daughter's college; I do know that in New York State there is something called VESID that had helped my own adult son when he was going to college. In other states, there may be other state agencies that could help. Isn't there a department in her college that deals with students with disabilities? Maybe someone in Admissions can guide you? To a college department or state agency?

Also, have you checked out the links to the right-hand margin of this page? The TOOLS and THE LESSONS are a great asset in helping us parents learn how to help our BPD children; for educational needs, try Lesson #5 and see if there is anything there that should give you valuable information... .It's great that you want to advocate for your daughter, and I truly hope her college and your state have some sort of help available