Need Advice for BPDd

[cwhickman]

I am new to the bpdfamily and came here several times to get reassurance that I am not in this alone.  And I did feel that way, but it also made me feel terrible at the same time. Fearful that this situation will never get better and my life is going to be one crisis after another with my daughter who is currently 17.  We have had her on countless medications, she has been in DBT residential programs as well as private therapy. She improves for a while and then something within a relationship triggers a spiral downward and she wreaks havoc in everyone's life.  My heart aches for her, but I also resent her.  She won't go to school, she lies, throws tantrums, you name it.  Her dad and I divorced two years ago and he doesn't know what to do, so he does nothing to help.  She recently sneaked out of the house and met a boy who she says raped her at knife point.  I was horrified and of course, blamed myself because I should have kept a better watch on her. I am exhausted. I am too ashamed to tell my friends what I go through. They wouldn't understand anyway.  My son, who is home on Christmas break from college, tries to help but he loses his temper and says she needs to be put somewhere.  She is currently on the waiting list to be admitted to the McLean Acute Residential Therapy program at Harvard.  I am sure she will be taken kicking and screaming.  At this point, I don't know what else I can do.  Any advice from those of you who are experiencing similar situations?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[pessim-optimist]

Hello cwhickman, 

I am so sorry your situation is so stressful right now... .And you are right, you are not alone. Many members have been in this crazy-making cycle. It is really hard on the parents. As far as the different programs and placement options:

Have you had a chance to read this thread? It seems to have a lot in common with you. It might be of help:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=212123.40

Also clicking on the "Lesson 5: Therapy methods and inpatient/outpatient venues" to your right might help --->

We also have a sub-board under the parenting board with threads about residential treatment centers, hospitalizations etc. here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=4.0

Hope this helps.

What other concerns do you have at the moment through the Christmas period? Holidays can be very stressful... .

[Gidget]

So sorry for what you are going thru you are not alone I have gone thru it for years, not as bad as what you are dealing with but bad enough. The constant day to day dealings with this could wear anyone down. I have found great comfort here realizing so many others have gone thru the same.

Good luck and Welcome!

[Gidget]

Sorry I didn't not mean I find comfort in what people are going thru here but comfort that I am not alone and crazy. Reading these stories have helped me to have more understanding of this disorder. Comfort in knowing that this board is here to help!

Thanks to everyone