Teenager

[Jobo]

  my 15 year old is text book BPD. We have learned to not react and to reinforce the fact that we understand (empathy). Me and my husband are exhausted and want vacation but we are in constant fear of a blow up and we don't want our daughter to put other people in the centre of our problem. What would you suggest I do. Who can help us?  What do we need to say or do to find help for us to take a break.  We don't have a lot of resource around here. She is being follow by psychology and has follow bdt class. She has regular outburst and is going out with a boy who is 2 her age. She tried to commit suicide( Aldo we know it was more wanting help) she has tried everything drug, alcohol. And now sex. I put her on birth control and we talk a lot but it's crisis after crisis. We need a break to be able to keep going.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[bubby827]

I am in a very much the same place. We are suppose to start  DBT soon it is a therapy that teaches the BP person to learn coping skills. 

First, i have been taking most of the punishment from my daughter.  I have begun therapy for me... .I have started taking anti depressants and some anti anxiety meds. 

My daughter (she is bp and bipolar) has been hospitalized 3 times in the last 6 months, we have approved but have not gotten through all the hoops yet with the county mental health office.  I would check to see if there is someone there  that can help her and also find some help for your self.  It is so overpowering at times I just have to go to my room and escape. 

First I will look local or close by for some help.  there are many people going through the same thing.

If you are worried that she will commit suicide I would get her to a mental health center.  At least she will get the meds she needs and some help.  They will also direct you to other services available.  It is hard but sometimes you have to do what you need to save your family.

[pessim-optimist]

That is a tough spot you are in, Jobo... .

We all do need some time off to be able to recharge our batteries, so to speak.

Do you have any relatives that would be able to take care of her for a few days?

Does she have older siblings that could watch her while you and your husband go on a date?

If not, then I would suggest taking turns with your husband taking some time off for yourselves to relax and get away from the chaos and stress. It is not ideal, but it is something. Keeping your own sanity and keeping yourself healthy is very important long-term. 

What other options can you think of?

[crazedncrazymom]

Oh I have been there.  I think pessim-optimist's suggestion of getting a family member involved would be great if that's possible.  Your dd is in school.  What about a mental health day from work for both of you?  What about not telling anyone you are home, getting ready for work so there are no expectations from anyone but then just not going.  Take some much needed time for the two of you.  Would that work for you? 

Does anyone else have any thoughts on how to sneak in some down time to take a break from all the craziness? 

-crazed