DD is 26 and a completed DBT therapy

[blancreatv]

Hello bpdfamily community. I have not been very active on this site and I should be. I forget the abbreviations but my DD is 26 and a completed DBT therapy modules during 6 mos. and individual therapy. Boy was it costly.

So now she has not been going to anybody and I can tell the difference.

So we reached out to her therapists and she's helping us referring her to see her master psych. assistant because my DD can't be without some form of support or therapy

Now in terms of me: wow, I am tired and worried about her but I've decided I am the one that is in need of help so I contacted a couple of therapists to start seeing them asap. Hopefully one with some BPD experience so she'll understand what I am looking for.

I am sure a lot of parents with BPD adult children know that many times their "emotional outbursts" while painful do pass and one is left totally a mess.

I see my daughter being so angry for a couple of days and then she comes back to be among "the rational beings" again while I myself am still in the midst of an emotional tornado.

So... .it can't be all about them ever, right?

I do set boundaries, I do listen with empathy, take her cutting and scratching seriously and offer all my love.

She has said she does not want to call her therapists but I am hoping she herself will see why this is a must. ( I will use my best judgement in helping her make the call).

That's it for now... .

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[pessim-optimist]

Thank you for your update blancreatv,

It's a good thing that you are looking for a therapist for yourself. It is hard doing it solo, we all need support.

She is 26, so she will need to be motivated herself to go to therapy. How did she like the DBT? Do you see a difference between 'before' and 'after' do you see lasting changes, some skills that she learned and is continuing to use?

[blancreatv]

Thank you for your good wishes passim optimist.

My dd26 seemed to do well at DBT but then again, she is very smart so perhaps she just complied with it all. I want to think the skills she was working on were helping.

I need to find my own therapy as you say and I 'll work on it right away.

Thanks

[pessim-optimist]

Time will tell... . At least she started, and has some kind of knowledge about possible coping skills. Sometimes it's two steps forward, one step back... .

[Arbre710]

Blancreatv, you are wise to realize that a therapist would help you.  I know that if my DD were still at home, it would be a necessity for me.  I sought therapy in the past, too, it was a survival issue for me.  It's not like I can share my feelings and concerns with just anyone.  Unless someone has lived with a person with mental illness, it is really difficult to have any kind of perspective on the situation.

Good luck finding a good therapist, and keep us updated!