Sad, shy

[Esperança_Hope]

D s 32 is here with his girlfriend. We wentto parties, barbecues, beach parties.  He behaves like a troglodyte: he has beautifu clothes wich teh way he uses it they seem like trash, he is always  hurted ( small cuts in their feets - he likes to surf and sou there are riefs he cuts the feets, he looks like a beach bum. He is good looking but  his bejaviour is bizarre. Everybody loves him... he is funny nonsense... but i suffer a lot because people look him as a clown! everybody laugh... . i´m not. what to do.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[crazedncrazymom]

D s 32 is here with his girlfriend.

Everybody loves him... he is funny nonsense... but i suffer a lot because people look him as a clown! everybody laugh... . i´m not. what to do.

Hi Esperanca,

I read your post and my first thought was... . learn to laugh.  He's happy.  He has friends.  He has a girlfriend.  I know this is not the life you imagined for your son.  We hope and dream and plan our children's lives and it really is heartbreaking when the plans don't come to fruition.   He will never be what you dreamed.  Mourn the child that you dreamed of but celebrate the man he has become.  

-crazed

[jellibeans]

esperanca_hope

I agree that you are hanging on to what you think your son should be and that seems to be causing you great sadness. Can you be reading too much into things? Too sensitive? He is what he is... . and he sounds happy... . be happy for him.

[Esperança_Hope]

   Thank you all. You´re right .I need to accept him. God knows how much i need this. Thank you , many times! You´re so great. Love this place.

[qcarolr]

Esperança_Hope

How long is your DS visiting with you? Sometimes it helps me with my DD27 to put aside her age and what I think a 27 year old 'should be doing'. She is so often a much younger version of herself, especially during those times when she is having fun with her friends.

Somewhere I read that when feeling sad, give yourself a half-smile. It seems silly, but it works. A little surprise for myself inside. I had to practice in a mirror at first, now I can feel it in my face. It really works with my dear gd8 -- we end up being goofy together.

I remember such a difficult time you and your DS had over a year ago before he moved away. Is there some fear here that this party bubble will burst and the angry man will emerge again? Is there a special prayer you can say to help you let this fear go? You have shared your strong faith with us here before. You know that God will carry it for you. You will have what you need when you need it.

qcr

[Being Mindful]

Meet him where he is at and learn to love his outward goofiness and fun style.