Please share any experiences with CPS

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I previously posted regarding my first attorney consultation included the suggestion that I call CPS. I received a response with a very positive view of CPS. I would really appreciate any one else sharing their experiences with them. I have had previous experience with them (they have been called on her about three times or so that I know of.) and was even named in association with her since we were living together. This was around eight yrs ago or so when she was living with me with her then eight yr old son from a previous relationship. She would frequently disappear for days with addiction binge. I stayed in the relationship because I didn't  want her to lose her son, and thought showing unconditional support would help her. She was able get clean and sober. I attributed a lot of her BPD behavior to the addiction and thought that, once clean, her behavior would improve. Point is that I had a very negative experience. Do they have access to previous reports or are they sealed if no action taken? I know they have websites such as ours here to help parents who are victims of a zealous CPS. Many on the sites discussed that CPS workers were given nicknames and received increased pay and promotions based on the number of children they were able to remove from their parents. My fear is, everyone here knows our BPD does not hesitate to lie and accuse us. I'm extremely concerned that CPS would ere on the side of caution and we would both lose our custody. The website notes many instances where the CPS worker lied because they justified with the thought that  they were doing it for the child. About 4 years ago they were called by someone because the person reporting had apparently noticed she had disappeared for a few days. (Relapse, only one that I know of) I was there of course, and her mother was helping with daycare. I came home from the office when they were there so no action was taken. But they do have a record of the binge. I'm just very very very hesitant to let CPS in. I'm sick enough about the way things are and really don't know how I would handle it if it turned south on me.

[Quantum Entangled]

I previously posted regarding my first attorney consultation included the suggestion that I call CPS. I received a response with a very positive view of CPS. I would really appreciate any one else sharing their experiences with them. I have had previous experience with them (they have been called on her about three times or so that I know of.) and was even named in association with her since we were living together. This was around eight yrs ago or so when she was living with me with her then eight yr old son from a previous relationship. She would frequently disappear for days with addiction binge. I stayed in the relationship because I didn't  want her to lose her son, and thought showing unconditional support would help her. She was able get clean and sober. I attributed a lot of her BPD behavior to the addiction and thought that, once clean, her behavior would improve. Point is that I had a very negative experience. Do they have access to previous reports or are they sealed if no action taken? I know they have websites such as ours here to help parents who are victims of a zealous CPS. Many on the sites discussed that CPS workers were given nicknames and received increased pay and promotions based on the number of children they were able to remove from their parents. My fear is, everyone here knows our BPD does not hesitate to lie and accuse us. I'm extremely concerned that CPS would ere on the side of caution and we would both lose our custody. The website notes many instances where the CPS worker lied because they justified with the thought that  they were doing it for the child. About 4 years ago they were called by someone because the person reporting had apparently noticed she had disappeared for a few days. (Relapse, only one that I know of) I was there of course, and her mother was helping with daycare. I came home from the office when they were there so no action was taken. But they do have a record of the binge. I'm just very very very hesitant to let CPS in. I'm sick enough about the way things are and really don't know how I would handle it if it turned south on me.

[ogopogodude]

I have had very good meetings with CPS. I actually looked so forward to the three or four meetings that I had with the social worker. It was just like being with my therapist. Telling the truth to a compete stranger (that I knew was in a position of being able to actually do something) was verging on exhilaration. I remember ending one of my meetings with the CPS agent shaking her hand, but I intentionally did not let go of her hand,... . & looking into her eyes (with most likely a look of desperation) & saying "please help me & my kids"... . . It was an awkward moment but a good awkward moment.

And she did help . Tremendously.

It was very moving emotionally.

[broken3]

I had 2 CPS workers called on me twice. My experience went really well also. I was accused of putting my fists through the walls and denying the kids therapy etc.

They came in unscheduled. And saw the home neat and with no holes in the walls and contacted therapists while I was there.

The therapists told CPS that the exact opposite was true. That I was the one encouraging and having therapy for the kids and my STBXW was keeping them from same.

They wrote a letter to the court which worked in my favor.

[PaulaJeanne]

We had CPS called on us the program director when our 17 year old diagnosed daughter refused to go to school. She was in an alternative/drug treatment program at the time. The CPS worker showed up unannounced (on April 20... . there is a significance behind that in the drug treatment world), interviewed us, examined my daughter. The woman was sympathetic & totally realistic about the fact that there was no way I could physically force my daughter to go to school.

Eventually she closed out the case as unfounded.

[ForeverDad]

My contact was good - as far as it went.

Pre-separation... . I twice called CPS, both times I was told my preschooler being exposed to my then-spouse's rants and rages was "not actionable" and was told to call back if/when she started ranting and raging at him.

Separation... . A CPS investigator appeared in family court when we first separated and ex filed an ex parte petition to block my parenting.  She was triggered to do that to make me look as bad or worse than her since I had just the week before reported her death threats resulting in her arrest and removal from our home.  The CPS rep stated to the court they had "no concerns" about me.  Since she filed a case against me, I was investigated.  Apparently no one had to vouch for her parenting?  Why not?

So I was assigned alternate weekends and an evening in between while the case was pending.  Later when I filed for divorce and both of us requested sole custody, the same magistrate assigned the same schedule for the duration of the 2 year divorce.  Okay, truth is it was only 23.5 months.

Over the early years of our separation, pending divorce case and the Shared Parenting afterward, from 2005 up to 2010, she made many allegations of child abuse against me to as many agencies, doctors and officials as possible, even trying one time to get an Amber Alert on me.  Eventually - with emphasis on eventually - she made some of her testimony "not credible".  Since courts avoid calling someone out for making 'unsubstantiated' claims of child abuse since that might make the person reluctant to report abuse allegations in the future, that "not credible" reference in my case was where ex tried to justify her obstruction of my mid-winter vacation notice (extending from after her Christmas Eve time until her New Year's Eve time) she said she was allowed to observe Kwanzaa even though she was not of Jewish descent.  Clearly she wanted a minor holiday even though she hadn't observed it before and didn't even know what it was about.  (She's not of African descent either, at least she's never said so.)

Also, as the result of one particularly intense allegation, ex had just lost our pediatrician and she tried to make me look worse than her, CPS interviewed our child at school since they view school as neutral territory.  However, our son was attending kindergarten in her school district, she had taken him to school and she picked him up at the end of the day.  I felt that was not so neutral but fortunately son didn't support the allegations made at the hospital and the report I requested stated the allegation was unsubstantiated but did indicate our child was at some risk, didn't state by whom though.

Maybe CPS hands are tied, able to report only minimally on what has been requested of them and nothing more.  Maybe the court's hands are tied, limiting them to only the information presented to them.  Maybe police can only handle the immediate incidents and not pursue the long term solutions.  Maybe the doctors, urgent cares, hospitals and regional abuse centers can only focus on the incident at hand and not the pattern of incidents or allegations.  Maybe each agency or group only has a slice of responsibility, their own fiefdom with limits and boundaries.  Court was supposed to tie it all together, but it sure took years and much of the obstruction and disinformation was ignored or not even mentioned to the court.  Apparently part of the design of the process is to slow down the pace of action so emotions subside and it gets resolved over time.  With two reasonably normal parents that makes sense, but it doesn't work well with the cases that are obstructed or worse.  All I can say concerning the entire process is that it took a half hour for my then-spouse and now-ex to get temporary custody and majority time.  It took me over 5 years to get sole custody and over 8 years to get majority time.  I don't think that slow process was fair to our child, he was 3 when we entered the system, I just recently got majority time and he's 11.  Two thirds of his life.  And he doesn't even realize how he was impacted.

However, back to the topic of CPS... . CPS never once depicted me as a problem parent.  So I have to confirm my experience with them was overall good, just not proactive, more black box, speaking up briefly only when required to do so.