Before I knew anything about BPD, I was asking him questions like... are you afraid of being abandoned? Do you realise you withdraw often for no reason to the outside work but justified to you? Do you realise that when you retreat to your dark place your eyes glaze over as if you are vacant? Do you realise you treat me badly to push me away for no reason?
Funny looking back at my ex and thinking about past one sided discussion I now see the exact same behaviors that are clearly explained by BPD whereas before they made nonsense and I couldn't place their cause.
Those of us who are firmly standing in reality can always tell when something is a miss even though we can't put out finger on it. Nice to see in not the only one who feels slightly valid in our original thinking that something seriously wasn't right and we were asking the right questions. Even tho our ex's didn't want to know or accept the answers and truth.