interesting question!... my T said to me that some behavioural addiction can be similar to a substance addiction, therefore leaving the "drama" around our BPD can be seen as a substance withdrawal... .
i relate to what you say... . i never felt like this. I havent experienced substance addiction, but sometimes i wonder if it would feel like this!
if you are going through hell, KEEP walking ( i read this somewhere, and i think this relates to how i feel)
keep moving (i say the same to me every single day)
"When you're going through hell, keep going"
Winston Churchill