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Author Topic: The things they say...  (Read 496 times)
amja77

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 36



« on: January 29, 2014, 08:42:46 AM »

I'm just going to go off on a tangent and type out various statements my bfBPD has stated to me within the last 9 months we have been dating; good and bad.

If anyone could include their own experiences, it would be much appreciated. I just want to know if there are any similarities.

Here it goes:

"I want you to have my child."

"You have no idea what pain is."

"I love you. I really do."

"Why do you want to be with me? I'm a loser."

"You're insane. If you think you're normal, you're definitely not. Maybe YOU should be committed."

"I hate you."

"I'm gonna cut myself if you don't shut up."

"You're a liar."

"Why are you so good to me? I don't deserve it."

"Was that guy looking at you?"

"I need a break." (when I found out I wasn't pregnant)

"I need a drink. NOW."

"I don't want to be touched."

"No one has ever f***ed me as good as you. Wow."

"Why are you so needy?"

"I didn't grow up spoiled like you."

"Stop crying. You're always crying... . f***ing crybaby."

Him: "I want the 18 pack of Bud Light." Me: "I don't have enough money for it." Him: "Take me home then." Me: "Ok, Ok. Just get the 12 pack then." Him: "Fine."

"All I have good in my life are you and alcohol."

Me: "Why do you do such hurtful things to me?" Him: "Idk. Because I'm crazy. I'm me."

"Baby, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I need to get away from you."

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maxsterling
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
Posts: 2779



« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2014, 10:25:02 AM »

"I want you to have my child."

She was ready to have my baby just a couple months after we met.

"You have no idea what pain is."

yep.  Word for word.  And variants where other words are used in place of pain, such as "depression".

"I love you. I really do."

Or, "I love you so much"  "without you I would die"

"Why do you want to be with me? I'm a loser."

Yep.  Word for word.

"You're insane. If you think you're normal, you're definitely not. Maybe YOU should be committed."

Variants of this.  That I am abnormal, or I need counseling, or that I need to solve my issues.

"I hate you."

Only during rages.  It's just words, but it really hurts.  I've never had anyone else say this to me before.

"I'm gonna cut myself if you don't shut up."

"I will kill myself if you leave."

"You're a liar."

Don't think she has ever directly called me a liar.

"Why are you so good to me? I don't deserve it."

Yep.  Word for word.

"Was that guy looking at you?"

Yes.  Or, "who was that, do you know her?"  "I notice other women looking at you all the time."

"I need a break." (when I found out I wasn't pregnant)

Never.  I wish she would want a break.

"I need a drink. NOW."

She's 11 years sober, but replace drink with "chocolate" and yes, but also sometimes she says she feels like drinking.

"I don't want to be touched."

Never.

"No one has ever f***ed me as good as you. Wow."

I think variants of this, yes.

"Why are you so needy?"

Never.

"I didn't grow up spoiled like you."

Never.  She does bring up my childhood, "you had a normal childhood, so you wouldn't understand."

"Stop crying. You're always crying... . f***ing crybaby."

During rages, she has told me to stop crying.

"All I have good in my life are you and alcohol."

yes, but delete the alcohol.  "You are the only thing good in my life."  Scares the crap out of me, makes me feel like her happiness hinges on me - HUGE pressure.

Me: "Why do you do such hurtful things to me?" Him: "Idk. Because I'm crazy. I'm me."

I've never asked her directly this, but the other day she did "apologize" for the months of hell last summer, saying, "You know all that was me dealing with my own s**t, and had nothing to do with you."

"Baby, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Yep.

"I need to get away from you."

Never.


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Cipher13
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 838


« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2014, 11:19:32 AM »

Excerpt
"I want you to have my child." Last night

"You have no idea what pain is." Yes

"I love you. I really do." And I HATE YOU

"Why do you want to be with me? I'm a loser." No

"You're insane. If you think you're normal, you're definitely not. Maybe YOU should be committed." I have BPD

"I hate you." Yes

"I'm gonna cut myself if you don't shut up." Never

"You're a liar." Daily

"Why are you so good to me? I don't deserve it." No the oposite

"Was that guy looking at you?" No

"I need a break." (when I found out I wasn't pregnant) When we wer dating only

"I need a drink. NOW." No

"I don't want to be touched." Yes and why don't you touch me... . while raging

"No one has ever f***ed me as good as you. Wow." No

"Why are you so needy?" no

"I didn't grow up spoiled like you." no

"Stop crying. You're always crying... . f***ing crybaby." I don't get emotional enough anymore

Him: "I want the 18 pack of Bud Light." Me: "I don't have enough money for it." Him: "Take me home then." Me: "Ok, Ok. Just get the 12 pack then." Him: "Fine."

"All I have good in my life are you and alcohol." She has just me and I am selfish

Me: "Why do you do such hurtful things to me?" Him: "Idk. Because I'm crazy. I'm me."

"Baby, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." You are the cutest

"I need to get away from you." No

I'd like to add... .

"Are you coming back?" Evertime I leave the room (My thought "I am getting you a glass of water what do you think).

"I will never believe anything you say."

"I hate my job and my life. Its your fault"

"Why are you so mean to me" 

"You hurt my feelingss. Now apologize."
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DiamondSW
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 181


« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2014, 10:17:48 AM »

What she said and did were very different... . said:  50% loving 50% hell, did: mostly hell so 10% loving, 90% hell.

Said: 

I love you (lots) Smiling (click to insert in post)

Thank you (lots). Smiling (click to insert in post) 

You're always positive and cheerful. Smiling (click to insert in post)

I miss you  Smiling (click to insert in post)

and then:

I wish i'd never met you.

You're a retard.

You need specialist help

You're too clingy.

I need you to be stronger

I need you to be successful

(someone else) is the only good thing in my life.

I don't need to apologise to you because I've been reborn, god loves me. 

Is there something wrong with you?


As for the actions, they put me in hospital.  4mths on I'm suffering from PTSD caused by a size 10 girl who never knew when to stop.  The verbal abuse was horrendous, but if she couldn't hurt me with words (when I was there), then her actions were even worse, playing on all my fears of her sexual abuse and crap life. 

In the end, I got the "I can't love anyone else if I can't love myself"... . think that was a week after she went dating/sleeping around with my replacement -a bit contradictory? 


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DiamondSW
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 181


« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2014, 10:24:35 AM »

Forgot to add... .

she also said "it's your fault Diamond I lost my job"... .

(she didn't bother to get up in the morning and I wasn't even in the same City at the time) 

strangely, she then was unemployed 4 mths and didn't even bother to create a CV, let alone look for work.  And she lived in very central London.  No jobs there? 

pfffff...   bone idle. 

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