I enforced a boundary this weekend

[forget-me-not]

I have tried many times to ask my uBPD bf for a "time out" when things escalate, which could be anything( last rage was about me not lining up the pizza puffs correctly on the pan)

My time out request was that I would go to another room for 10 minutes until things calm down. I've said this is to keep my head calm and keep me from saying any thing stupid.

This request was met with " I can't be left alone, it's the worst thing you can do to me."

So I've backed down and listened to the rages and did my best not to JADE. He will not tolerate silence either, when he's done yelling he wants me to make small talk about some neutral topic to let him know I "haven't left him".

This past Friday, he told me he needs an "out" if I don't "behave".

His idea was that he would tell me to go to the bedroom and I would not be allowed to come out until he said so.

I offered time out suggestions, such as I would go for a drive and return in 30 minutes, ( or whatever time frame we both agree to) I'd go sit in my car, I'd go read a book.   

This was met with " you will not tell me how things go in my house "

I replied with " I'm sorry we can't come to an agreement. I am not willing to be banished to the bedroom and told when to come out. This is not acceptable to me."

He said , "Then don't come over and I hope you come to your senses next weekend or you won't be able to come then either. You're out of control and should go talk to somebody"

2 hours later he was texting me about our plans to go motorcycling this summer, what he's having for dinner, etc.  Like nothing ever happened.

This topic is at rest for now but it will come up again and I really feel like I have to stand my ground and not consent to being treated like a child.

Did I handle this right?

[Seneca]

  you totally nailed it! good for you!

[Surnia]

  Yes, forget-me-not

Great step not to JADE and not to give in to exorbitant requests in a calm way.