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Author Topic: Will I be Recycled? - Failed BPD Relationship after 4 Years  (Read 853 times)
rosesarered777
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« on: February 03, 2014, 02:25:02 PM »

I don't feel like re-typing all of that wrote in my introduction message but I have somehow managed to almost hit the 1 month mark without ANY contact.

We split on December 15, 2013 and I broke contact a few times... She said all that I did was make her stressed out. Then I waited a few weeks and messaged her on January 8th. She said we were done, she doesn't want me in her life at all... Pretty much she hates me and thinks because I tried speaking to her I am harassing her.

Since I saw her in person, I have not spoken to her. I know that she is on dating websites looking for something serious but all of the guys only want friends with benefits or casual sex. She seems to be getting frustrated. I only know this because she sounds stressed in her dating profile, which happened to show up in my search on Plentyoffish this morning. Guess at least one guy didn't turn out as she was expecting, huh?

She has me blocked on everything now and apparently I have been painted black, even though my family and I did so much. I have been trying to move on but I still think of her because I haven't found someone new that I like just yet.

Despite her saying taht she never wants to see me or hear from me again, is there a good chance that I will be recycled soon? Last time we split around May 15th and got back together just before Canada Day (July 1st). So the time-frame is similar but situation is different... . Her friends want her to move on and they have never even met me! They also seem kind of immature...
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iluminati
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« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2014, 02:44:26 PM »

In terms of recycling, I would say probably so.  She's already done it once.  Why wouldn't she do it again?

I do suggest finding a way to move on.  Do you have any access to therapy?
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He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.~ Matthew 5:45
RecycledNoMore
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« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2014, 02:50:26 PM »

Do you want to be recycled?

If so why?

If not, then its a moot point.

It takes 2 to recycle.
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« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2014, 03:03:04 PM »

I am sure you have heard this before but every situation is different so who knows if you wll be but probably you will be.  there are certain patterns. in these people and some recycle after a long time.  for you get yojraelf healed and you will know what to do when the time is right.
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Ironmanrises
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« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2014, 03:15:25 PM »

Read the hundreds of accounts on here. You will see one unmistakable theme; the re engagement. Chances are higher if you have already re engaged once. Your answer lies in all of the accounts on here.
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Johnny Alias
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« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2014, 04:23:36 PM »

God you never know... . if they go long enough without attention then probably will try to charm. 

No offense but you're kind of stalking by looking at her profile on POF.  I get it, but you need to stop.  Block her on FB, your phone, email... . everything. 

My friend you've been painted BLACK.  You've officially been split by her.  Nothing you did in the past 4 years, no matter how kind, means a damned thing to her anymore.  It counts for NOTHING. 

I don't mean to be ruthless but when she meets a new guy soon and she will, she will paint you as a loser/villain to the new guy.  This is very typical behavior and it was done to me as well. 

Stop looking her up.  Go full No Contact and stay that way.  At this point you are so fragile another series of abuse and pain could literally destroy you.  Don't do that to yourself.  Odds are you'd get back together and she'd start cheating on you and justify it in her own mind.  What I've especially noticed with recycling are the good periods get shorter and shorter.  Any transgressions she feels you've done to harm her are still FRESH in her head.  They have a VERY hard time forgiving. 

Amazing that they often can't hold down jobs or balance a checkbook, but they can recite PAGES of all the wrongs you did to them... . even if half of it is made up. 

Just get in for the ride.  Get a calendar and start marking off the days without contact.  My BPD NPD rs was 4 years too.  It's hard to let go of the white picket fences I had in my mind and all that ROT, but, she would have destroyed me.  We would have gotten divorced, I would have lost my house, and most importantly I would have lost MORE of my years that could be spent with a normal happy sane woman. 

Let her go.  Just let her go.  Block everything and tell mutual friends you don't want to hear about it.  Move on.  Once she gets a new guy SOON you won't even be a memory.  I know that's tough to hear... .
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CoasterRider
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« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2014, 04:33:09 PM »

I love it when they say "we stress them out" My ex said this all the time when I tried to actually get him to see things he didnt want to deal with. The "stress" is actually anxiety, and its caused by their fears (and love for us). Its literally ripping them in two directions (in their mind), let their defensive walls down and be happy or stay hunkered down where its safe and they don't have to do any work to change themselves. My ex used to get soo stressed he would get physically ill and start vomiting. Of course it was my fault for making him get into such a condition... . not that he was trying his damnedest to stay in denial and inside his own world, despite my long arm reaching in attempting to pull him back into reality.

From what I understand with BPD is its an attachment disorder, they NEED to be attached to feel whole. If they can find a new attachment their use for us ceases to exist. However, if they cant, chances are she'll be rounding the corner and headed back your direction. Your choice is to tell her to keep walking or let her stop and chat... . your life, your decision.
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Ironmanrises
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« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2014, 04:45:05 PM »

God you never know... . if they go long enough without attention then probably will try to charm. 

No offense but you're kind of stalking by looking at her profile on POF.  I get it, but you need to stop.  Block her on FB, your phone, email... . everything. 

My friend you've been painted BLACK.  You've officially been split by her.  Nothing you did in the past 4 years, no matter how kind, means a damned thing to her anymore.  It counts for NOTHING. 

I don't mean to be ruthless but when she meets a new guy soon and she will, she will paint you as a loser/villain to the new guy.  This is very typical behavior and it was done to me as well. 

Stop looking her up.  Go full No Contact and stay that way.  At this point you are so fragile another series of abuse and pain could literally destroy you.  Don't do that to yourself.  Odds are you'd get back together and she'd start cheating on you and justify it in her own mind.  What I've especially noticed with recycling are the good periods get shorter and shorter.  Any transgressions she feels you've done to harm her are still FRESH in her head.  They have a VERY hard time forgiving. 

Amazing that they often can't hold down jobs or balance a checkbook, but they can recite PAGES of all the wrongs you did to them... . even if half of it is made up. 

Just get in for the ride.  Get a calendar and start marking off the days without contact.  My BPD NPD rs was 4 years too.  It's hard to let go of the white picket fences I had in my mind and all that ROT, but, she would have destroyed me.  We would have gotten divorced, I would have lost my house, and most importantly I would have lost MORE of my years that could be spent with a normal happy sane woman. 

Let her go.  Just let her go.  Block everything and tell mutual friends you don't want to hear about it.  Move on.  Once she gets a new guy SOON you won't even be a memory.  I know that's tough to hear... .

That is a fallacy. A pwBPD does not properly attach to their SO and in the same vein, does not properly detach from their SO either. Hence the common theme of re engagements. My exUBPDgf in devaluation phase in round 2, was CONSTANTLY referring to her exe's before me in a shiny light. Same exes she would refer to in a negative light during idealization. So even if they are with someone else, it isn't that you are forgotten, you are viewed according to the lens they currently are viewing the current SO in.
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mgl210
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« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2014, 04:48:01 PM »

Will you be recycled?

More and likely... yes you will be... Sorry to be the bearer of bad news... . My ex has recycled me about six times now? I think there will be seventh and an eighth... I don't know how to break free from it though... .

MGL
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« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2014, 04:54:21 PM »

Not only are the good periods shorter and shorter with each recycle, at least with my ex she still had most all of the reasons she painted me black all the other times still in her head.  Meaning this last recycle ended for a reason that was over 5 years old... . I still don't know why I ever went back any of the times and expected different results.  I can see maybe trying it once, but I was a dumb a%s to go back 10 times.
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mgl210
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« Reply #10 on: February 03, 2014, 05:06:32 PM »

You aren't a dumb@$$. I am slowly approaching the ten mark myself. We can't help who our hearts belong to and sadly it belongs to people who couldn't care less about us or even give a rat's Bullet: comment directed to __ (click to insert in post)$$... .

I know how you feel though... I feel like such a loser, because I know that there is someone out there for me that wouldn't treat me like this. However, being a dumb butt, I am dedicated to the idea that she and I can and will have our happy ending...

MGL
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Mutt
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« Reply #11 on: February 03, 2014, 05:12:31 PM »

God you never know... . if they go long enough without attention then probably will try to charm. 

No offense but you're kind of stalking by looking at her profile on POF.  I get it, but you need to stop.  Block her on FB, your phone, email... . everything. 

My friend you've been painted BLACK.  You've officially been split by her.  Nothing you did in the past 4 years, no matter how kind, means a damned thing to her anymore.  It counts for NOTHING. 

I don't mean to be ruthless but when she meets a new guy soon and she will, she will paint you as a loser/villain to the new guy.  This is very typical behavior and it was done to me as well. 

Stop looking her up.  Go full No Contact and stay that way.  At this point you are so fragile another series of abuse and pain could literally destroy you.  Don't do that to yourself.  Odds are you'd get back together and she'd start cheating on you and justify it in her own mind.  What I've especially noticed with recycling are the good periods get shorter and shorter.  Any transgressions she feels you've done to harm her are still FRESH in her head.  They have a VERY hard time forgiving. 

Amazing that they often can't hold down jobs or balance a checkbook, but they can recite PAGES of all the wrongs you did to them... . even if half of it is made up. 

Just get in for the ride.  Get a calendar and start marking off the days without contact.  My BPD NPD rs was 4 years too.  It's hard to let go of the white picket fences I had in my mind and all that ROT, but, she would have destroyed me.  We would have gotten divorced, I would have lost my house, and most importantly I would have lost MORE of my years that could be spent with a normal happy sane woman. 

Let her go.  Just let her go.  Block everything and tell mutual friends you don't want to hear about it.  Move on.  Once she gets a new guy SOON you won't even be a memory.  I know that's tough to hear... .

That is a fallacy. A pwBPD does not properly attach to their SO and in the same vein, does not properly detach from their SO either. Hence the common theme of re engagements. My exUBPDgf in devaluation phase in round 2, was CONSTANTLY referring to her exe's before me in a shiny light. Same exes she would refer to in a negative light during idealization. So even if they are with someone else, it isn't that you are forgotten, you are viewed according to the lens they currently are viewing the current SO in.

I understand that it's an attachment disorder but if they sense that their tricks don't work on you anymore and the jig is up and they discard you. Is it not to protect the truth about themselves and why then re-engage for the fear of being found out?

Do they just splice and forget the devaluation phase and their unmasking and go back to you when there is a need because the replacement or the new supply left them?

That part always confuses me. As far as I understand when you are discarded, it's game over. That's it. Meaning that there are no future re-engagements.

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Ironmanrises
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« Reply #12 on: February 03, 2014, 05:26:34 PM »

God you never know... . if they go long enough without attention then probably will try to charm. 

No offense but you're kind of stalking by looking at her profile on POF.  I get it, but you need to stop.  Block her on FB, your phone, email... . everything. 

My friend you've been painted BLACK.  You've officially been split by her.  Nothing you did in the past 4 years, no matter how kind, means a damned thing to her anymore.  It counts for NOTHING. 

I don't mean to be ruthless but when she meets a new guy soon and she will, she will paint you as a loser/villain to the new guy.  This is very typical behavior and it was done to me as well. 

Stop looking her up.  Go full No Contact and stay that way.  At this point you are so fragile another series of abuse and pain could literally destroy you.  Don't do that to yourself.  Odds are you'd get back together and she'd start cheating on you and justify it in her own mind.  What I've especially noticed with recycling are the good periods get shorter and shorter.  Any transgressions she feels you've done to harm her are still FRESH in her head.  They have a VERY hard time forgiving. 

Amazing that they often can't hold down jobs or balance a checkbook, but they can recite PAGES of all the wrongs you did to them... . even if half of it is made up. 

Just get in for the ride.  Get a calendar and start marking off the days without contact.  My BPD NPD rs was 4 years too.  It's hard to let go of the white picket fences I had in my mind and all that ROT, but, she would have destroyed me.  We would have gotten divorced, I would have lost my house, and most importantly I would have lost MORE of my years that could be spent with a normal happy sane woman. 

Let her go.  Just let her go.  Block everything and tell mutual friends you don't want to hear about it.  Move on.  Once she gets a new guy SOON you won't even be a memory.  I know that's tough to hear... .

That is a fallacy. A pwBPD does not properly attach to their SO and in the same vein, does not properly detach from their SO either. Hence the common theme of re engagements. My exUBPDgf in devaluation phase in round 2, was CONSTANTLY referring to her exe's before me in a shiny light. Same exes she would refer to in a negative light during idealization. So even if they are with someone else, it isn't that you are forgotten, you are viewed according to the lens they currently are viewing the current SO in.

I understand that it's an attachment disorder but if they sense that their tricks don't work on you anymore and the jig is up and they discard you. Is it not to protect the truth about themselves and why then re-engage for the fear of being found out?

Do they just splice and forget the devaluation phase and their unmasking and go back to you when there is a need because the replacement or the new supply left them?

That part always confuses me. As far as I understand when you are discarded, it's game over. That's it. Meaning that there are no future re-engagements.

My exUBPDgf knew even before returning to me for round 2(she stalked my social media in NC period between round 1 and 2), that I knew about her condition; and she still returned. They return when there is a need. From what I have read, the ones that discard and do not return would be more synonymous with a pwNPD. I thought mine was not going to return after she discarded me at end of round 1. And sure enough she returned, and BPD textbook style, discarded me at end of round 2. A pattern. A loop. A script that play on in their disordered minds.
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Mutt
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« Reply #13 on: February 03, 2014, 05:37:44 PM »

That is a fallacy. A pwBPD does not properly attach to their SO and in the same vein, does not properly detach from their SO either. Hence the common theme of re engagements. My exUBPDgf in devaluation phase in round 2, was CONSTANTLY referring to her exe's before me in a shiny light. Same exes she would refer to in a negative light during idealization. So even if they are with someone else, it isn't that you are forgotten, you are viewed according to the lens they currently are viewing the current SO in.

I understand that it's an attachment disorder but if they sense that their tricks don't work on you anymore and the jig is up and they discard you. Is it not to protect the truth about themselves and why then re-engage for the fear of being found out?

Do they just splice and forget the devaluation phase and their unmasking and go back to you when there is a need because the replacement or the new supply left them?

That part always confuses me. As far as I understand when you are discarded, it's game over. That's it. Meaning that there are no future re-engagements.

My exUBPDgf knew even before returning to me for round 2(she stalked my social media in NC period between round 1 and 2), that I knew about her condition; and she still returned. They return when there is a need. From what I have read, the ones that discard and do not return would be more synonymous with a pwNPD. I thought mine was not going to return after she discarded me at end of round 1. And sure enough she returned, and BPD textbook style, discarded me at end of round 2. A pattern. A loop. A script that play on in their disordered minds.

Ah, OK, I didn't think of narcissistic versus borderline personality disorder, although I think that they can be co-morbid?
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Ironmanrises
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« Reply #14 on: February 03, 2014, 06:03:06 PM »

That is a fallacy. A pwBPD does not properly attach to their SO and in the same vein, does not properly detach from their SO either. Hence the common theme of re engagements. My exUBPDgf in devaluation phase in round 2, was CONSTANTLY referring to her exe's before me in a shiny light. Same exes she would refer to in a negative light during idealization. So even if they are with someone else, it isn't that you are forgotten, you are viewed according to the lens they currently are viewing the current SO in.

I understand that it's an attachment disorder but if they sense that their tricks don't work on you anymore and the jig is up and they discard you. Is it not to protect the truth about themselves and why then re-engage for the fear of being found out?

Do they just splice and forget the devaluation phase and their unmasking and go back to you when there is a need because the replacement or the new supply left them?

That part always confuses me. As far as I understand when you are discarded, it's game over. That's it. Meaning that there are no future re-engagements.

My exUBPDgf knew even before returning to me for round 2(she stalked my social media in NC period between round 1 and 2), that I knew about her condition; and she still returned. They return when there is a need. From what I have read, the ones that discard and do not return would be more synonymous with a pwNPD. I thought mine was not going to return after she discarded me at end of round 1. And sure enough she returned, and BPD textbook style, discarded me at end of round 2. A pattern. A loop. A script that play on in their disordered minds.

Ah, OK, I didn't think of narcissistic versus borderline personality disorder, although I think that they can be co-morbid?

Yes. They can be co-morbid. If the person has more of the NPD traits, that too might explain the one discard and no re engagements, perhaps.
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mgl210
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« Reply #15 on: February 03, 2014, 06:15:13 PM »

God you never know... . if they go long enough without attention then probably will try to charm. 

No offense but you're kind of stalking by looking at her profile on POF.  I get it, but you need to stop.  Block her on FB, your phone, email... . everything. 

My friend you've been painted BLACK.  You've officially been split by her.  Nothing you did in the past 4 years, no matter how kind, means a damned thing to her anymore.  It counts for NOTHING. 

I don't mean to be ruthless but when she meets a new guy soon and she will, she will paint you as a loser/villain to the new guy.  This is very typical behavior and it was done to me as well. 

Stop looking her up.  Go full No Contact and stay that way.  At this point you are so fragile another series of abuse and pain could literally destroy you.  Don't do that to yourself.  Odds are you'd get back together and she'd start cheating on you and justify it in her own mind.  What I've especially noticed with recycling are the good periods get shorter and shorter.  Any transgressions she feels you've done to harm her are still FRESH in her head.  They have a VERY hard time forgiving. 

Amazing that they often can't hold down jobs or balance a checkbook, but they can recite PAGES of all the wrongs you did to them... . even if half of it is made up. 

Just get in for the ride.  Get a calendar and start marking off the days without contact.  My BPD NPD rs was 4 years too.  It's hard to let go of the white picket fences I had in my mind and all that ROT, but, she would have destroyed me.  We would have gotten divorced, I would have lost my house, and most importantly I would have lost MORE of my years that could be spent with a normal happy sane woman. 

Let her go.  Just let her go.  Block everything and tell mutual friends you don't want to hear about it.  Move on.  Once she gets a new guy SOON you won't even be a memory.  I know that's tough to hear... .

That is a fallacy. A pwBPD does not properly attach to their SO and in the same vein, does not properly detach from their SO either. Hence the common theme of re engagements. My exUBPDgf in devaluation phase in round 2, was CONSTANTLY referring to her exe's before me in a shiny light. Same exes she would refer to in a negative light during idealization. So even if they are with someone else, it isn't that you are forgotten, you are viewed according to the lens they currently are viewing the current SO in.

I, myself am guilty of looking up her POF profile and facebook(its blocked to me btw) and I am guilty of still having feelings for my ex. I understand how painful it is. I am going through the sixth or seventh time that we have split apart. Am I a fool? Possibly, but like I've said before. I am guilty of loving someone who could care less about me. Maybe somewhere down inside of her she still does. I am without a doubt sure that there will be an additional contact coming soon, as my birthday is coming soon, and my mom is leaving to go back overseas.

I will not tell you what to do. I will tell you that I do understand where you are coming from. Loving someone is a hard emotion to just shut off, regardless if its reciprocated or not. I can just say that I hope that maybe its not that she is painting you black. Maybe she just needed a break to check to see if she definitely wanted to be with you. I am hoping that nothing but the best for you and your hopes. No one's hopes should be so dashed and discounted. I just hope you don't go through the same pattern as I am... .

Good Luck

MGL
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« Reply #16 on: February 03, 2014, 06:18:00 PM »

Will you be recycled?

More and likely... yes you will be... Sorry to be the bearer of bad news... . My ex has recycled me about six times now? I think there will be seventh and an eighth... I don't know how to break free from it though... .

MGL

MGL, I was with my ex for 14 years... . over 40 recycles.  I can tell you that the emotional abuse, as well as, the physical abuse is the worst thing that ever happened to me.  You will understand how to stop the cycle of recycles when she completely destroys every aspect of your being. Your body, mind, and spirit... .

Arn
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« Reply #17 on: February 03, 2014, 06:25:22 PM »

That is a fallacy. A pwBPD does not properly attach to their SO and in the same vein, does not properly detach from their SO either. Hence the common theme of re engagements. My exUBPDgf in devaluation phase in round 2, was CONSTANTLY referring to her exe's before me in a shiny light. Same exes she would refer to in a negative light during idealization. So even if they are with someone else, it isn't that you are forgotten, you are viewed according to the lens they currently are viewing the current SO in.

I understand that it's an attachment disorder but if they sense that their tricks don't work on you anymore and the jig is up and they discard you. Is it not to protect the truth about themselves and why then re-engage for the fear of being found out?

Do they just splice and forget the devaluation phase and their unmasking and go back to you when there is a need because the replacement or the new supply left them?

That part always confuses me. As far as I understand when you are discarded, it's game over. That's it. Meaning that there are no future re-engagements.

My exUBPDgf knew even before returning to me for round 2(she stalked my social media in NC period between round 1 and 2), that I knew about her condition; and she still returned. They return when there is a need. From what I have read, the ones that discard and do not return would be more synonymous with a pwNPD. I thought mine was not going to return after she discarded me at end of round 1. And sure enough she returned, and BPD textbook style, discarded me at end of round 2. A pattern. A loop. A script that play on in their disordered minds.

Ah, OK, I didn't think of narcissistic versus borderline personality disorder, although I think that they can be co-morbid?

Yes. They can be co-morbid. If the person has more of the NPD traits, that too might explain the one discard and no re engagements, perhaps.

I understand why 2 months ago you promised me a recycle was imminent, ironman.  You see, my WaifBPD ex does have def NPD or covert NPD traits.  She is very dangerous, but ALL BPD DSM requirements are present except for the cutting.  She does scratch and pull her hair out, eating disorder, etc.

But the 40+ recycles, I can see why you would think that she would come around again.

Started by cycle of BPD steroids 3 weeks ago (my psychiatrist) !  When the wolf comes blowing, my house will be made of brick and mortar with a solid foundation.

Feeling better today, ya'll. 
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« Reply #18 on: February 03, 2014, 06:25:39 PM »

I am scared of that moment in time. My one friend that I can talk to about the situation is worried about me eventually accepting that she comes and goes as she likes. He and I have talked about moving out of the state that we are currently in and he has literally begged me to not even think about letting her come with us.

40 recycles? Wow, I give you credit for giving your significant other the benefit of the doubt... . Have you found your true happiness? I am scared that when I am ready to throw in the towel that I will be so commitment phobic that any female that comes my way that even has the slightest issue of depression will be discarded by me for fear that it could turn into another repeat of what I am going through now... .

Thanks for your encouragement and support

Mgl
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arn131arn
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« Reply #19 on: February 03, 2014, 06:29:54 PM »

I am scared of that moment in time. My one friend that I can talk to about the situation is worried about me eventually accepting that she comes and goes as she likes. He and I have talked about moving out of the state that we are currently in and he has literally begged me to not even think about letting her come with us.

40 recycles? Wow, I give you credit for giving your significant other the benefit of the doubt... . Have you found your true happiness? I am scared that when I am ready to throw in the towel that I will be so commitment phobic that any female that comes my way that even has the slightest issue of depression will be discarded by me for fear that it could turn into another repeat of what I am going through now... .

Thanks for your encouragement and support

Mgl

Mg, the 40+ recycles shows EXACTLY how sick I AM!

Yes, there were problems with her, but I am seeking therapy to see what EXACTLY is wrong with me.

Why did I take that abuse for so long?  Because I love her?  Come on... . that ain't love... . that's desperation, my friend.

And no, I am not really happy right now.  She alienates my son (8) from me and I have been jerked around by her dad for the past 4 months about custody.  Talked to attorney/psychiatrist and they both agreed NC with her dad, as well.  Since that decision was made today... . I already feel happier.  I can truly begin detaching.
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mgl210
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« Reply #20 on: February 03, 2014, 06:35:59 PM »

Don't be so harsh on yourself man. I've learned from a great mentor that life, no matter where it brings us, is all about learning and continuously learning about ourselves. Sure, you gave her 40+ chances, It doesn't necesarily mean desperation. It could simply mean something inside of you really believed it could work. I am not saying anything bad about you giving her so many chances. I hope my comments don't come off as I am condescending you, because I am not. I am listening to your words as advisement. I am sorry that she is doing that with your son. That is so not fair to your child.

I've mentioned in a previous post somewhere else that that is my true fear. When she and I are together, she constantly would remind me that she wants kids, which is something I would love to be more than anything is a father. But I would be lying if I am scared if she was the child(ren)'s mom. I would be scared that she would easily walk out on her kid(s) as easily as she is finding herself to be able to do with our lives now...

I'm glad that you are on the path of happiness. I wish I could go see a therapist. Unfortunately, I don't trust them and I can't afford them... .

<MGL
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rosesarered777
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« Reply #21 on: February 03, 2014, 10:00:18 PM »

I guess I have a highly addictive personality, so being discarded so freely really hit me hard.

The fact that she has such a crappy future ahead of her with her crazy debts, her poor family, her poor job prospects, etc. makes me think that she would love to re-attach to me and my family. I guess that is what being mentally ill does... Makes the person make tons of stupid mistakes! I know for sure she made so many bone-headed ones while we were together that just didn't make sense... . Leaving a full-time job to start up her own business that went nowhere, etc. etc.

My birthday is coming up. On our last split, I ignored her birthday altogether. I expect the same treatment from her.
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santa
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« Reply #22 on: February 03, 2014, 10:28:43 PM »

Depends on the person, I guess. You won't be recycled if you choose not to be.
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rosesarered777
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« Reply #23 on: February 03, 2014, 10:32:54 PM »

Whether she wants to deny it or not, our relationship lasted and lasted. I would take her back IF she has changed for the better permanently but we all know the likelihood of that...
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santa
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« Reply #24 on: February 03, 2014, 10:35:35 PM »

Whether she wants to deny it or not, our relationship lasted and lasted. I would take her back IF she has changed for the better permanently but we all know the likelihood of that...

I was in my BPD relationship for 3 1/2 years, so that's about the same time span as you're dealing with. I know how attached you've been. You're life will be immensely better without this girl though. Give yourself some time and you'll see huge changes in yourself in no time.
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