can you stop BPD occuring

[mother in law]

I have a gd of 11 that sometimes I think she is following in the foot steps of her mother (exdil) and showing BPD signs and at other times I am amazed at her resilience. If a child shows signs of BPD is there a way of heading this off or are we all doomed to go through the horrors of this with her too?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[pessim-optimist]

hello mother in law,

BPD has a genetic component, and as far as environment, being a child of divorce is definitely a risk factor... .

On the other hand, with the right kind of approach (learning as much as possible about BPD and how her brain works, what communication tools work well, and teaching/modeling healthy coping skills) you can do a lot yourselves to head off further development. And with a good therapist if needed, you just might be able to prevent further development of BPD. There is hope.

[jellibeans]

I think if you learn the communication skills that will certainly help... . I think validating is good to use with everyone so instead of looking at if she is or isn't... . proceed but with an understanding that a real effort has to be made to connect and interact with this child in a way that will make her feel heard.

There are things my dd16 does and I think I am not sure that was BPd or normal teen... . I kind of look at it that way... . there is alway a bit of a twist if it is solely BPD... . normal teen stuff is something I can deal with... . I welcome that kind behavior!

[crumblingdad]

Certainly not for me to decide but based on what I've read there is definitely evidence that indicates the earlier BPD is diagnosed and treated the better the chance it will go into a remission.  

If it were my decision and I had the resources for a gd showing signs at that age I would absolutely explore a therapist experienced in dbt therapy and dbt communication skills for your gd.  The good news about dbt is it provides incredible insight into compassion and communication skills in everyday life so even if she doesn't have BPD you won't be hurting her one bit and having therapy for her that has some dbt piece to it I would think can only benefit.

[Eclaire5]

Totally agree with crumblingdad, even if she is not geared towards developing BPD, good therapy will not harm her. The more you learn about it the better, that way you can use the empathy and validation skills early on. I have heard that neurofeedback can also be quite helpful, especially in young brains. I also would recommend less exposure to negative influence, such as violent video games or inappropriate TV shows. Unfortunately, our dear BPD children have very little impulse control, and the more normalized violent or inappropriate behavior becomes in our society, the more they are prone to follow that type of behavior. Hopefully she is just entering her pre-teen years with some difficulty but is not developing BPD.