Book Suggestions

[FeelingOverwhelmed1998]

Hi. I'm fairly new here. Things have been going well recently with my daughter, 15. We saw her psychiatrist today. She suggested DBT therapy. Does anyone have any personal experience with this for adolescents? Is this inpatient? While we do need help working through this, I don't believe my daughter needs inpatient therapy.

Also. Does anyone have any suggestions for books about parenting a child with BPD? I am reading Stop Walking On Eggshells. So far, it has been helpful in a lot of ways. However, a lot of the stuff doesn't fit be sure my daughter isn't an adult, so hasn't had a lot of the experiences, and the relationship examples don't fit. Since I am new to this, and don't know much about it, I'm having a hard time relating them to my life with my daughter. Thanks for any help!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[jellibeans]

Hey overwhelmed

There is one book I found really helped me with my dd16 is "Overcoming BPD by Valerie Porr"

My dd16 really started improving once we found a therapist that did DBT.  I am glad you found this board. Many here with knowledge and good advise. The support got me through some rough times

[jellibeans]

Dear feeling overwhelmed

I just wanted to add that DBT can be done out patient. It is just a style of therapy... . it works on being mindful and calming emotions etc... . rather than the talk therapy approach. My dd didn't have the coping skills to deal with the pain she was in. DBT helped her do that so instead of cutting up her arms she going for a walk... . When my daughter started this just over a year ago we saw a real improvement with her. things are not prefect and she still has her movements but it is not every day... . that was so draining. 

[Skip]

Here are our recommended books with reviews of each.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56210.0

[theplotthickens]

My favorite two books are "The Essential Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder" by Krieger and "What Works for Bipolar Kids" by Pavuluri.  Even if your child isn't bipolar, "What Works" is fabulous!  It will help you develop a comprehensive, holistic way of dealing with a child who is chronically irritated and dysregulated.

Both give practical tips for what you can do to manage this illness.  These helped me more than hours and hours of therapy which cost us an arm and a leg and did very little to help us manage.

[theplotthickens]

Sorry, the above should read "Essential FAMILY Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder."

[theplotthickens]

I think DBT therapy skills are great.  Watch out for DBT groups, as my daughter picked up many negative behaviors there, including new ways to self-harm from other cutters and substance abuse. 

I would try individual DBT first, I know this flies in the face of Official Recommendations, but that is my experience.

[FeelingOverwhelmed1998]

Thank you. I will try both of those books!

[FeelingOverwhelmed1998]

Thank you for the suggestions on DBT. I always feel she came out of the hospital more manipulative, and with new techniques for self harming and hiding it. I will definitely take your advice on that!