its been a long time

[simplyasiam]

I didn't see many names that I knew on the boards today.

I did see the stories haven't really changed.

a year ago I wondered how long it would take me to get over this BPD r/s, I still don't know the answer to that, but I do know im in a much better place than I was a year ago.

after many recycles over the last six years... . at least 15 my exBPDg/f seemed to have left for good. im sure you all know where that left me.

after nine 8 months she returned clamming to have learned from her mistakes, now im the one making that claim

the r/s was worse than it had ever been, ive spent the last 3 months in a state of never ending recycle with her.

I tried all the tool I learned here and other places, none help much at all.

3 weeks ago today I had to walk away, first time ive ever tried to save myself.

I feel good ,glad I got out no hope was there.

I writing this for those who are just ending a r/s with some one who suffers from BPD.

YOU CANT HELP THOSE WHO DONT WANT TO CHANGE, THE NEDDING SAVED THING IS ALL A ACT!

wondering if they will come back how they are doing is their life so much better after you praying they will come back?

BE CAREFUL WITH YOU ASK FOR YOU MAY GET IT! NO THIER LIFE IS THE SAME ONLY THE NAMES HAVE CHANGED. THEY ARE WORES OFF THAN WHEN YOU KNEW THEM. ALOT OF THEM DO COME BACK MINE DID MANY TIMES.

THE REAL THING TO ASK YOURSELF IS HOW LONG CAN YOU LIVE LIKE THIS.

[seeking balance]

3 weeks ago today I had to walk away, first time ive ever tried to save myself.

Welcome back!

We are not done until we are - and when we really are, we know it.

What is your plan this time around?  Did you move in together or is it a clean break?

[Tausk]

SAIA:

I'm glad that you seem to have found some closure and acceptance.   Yes the names change, but the stories are about the same.   And that is a good thing because it means that we can get better.

It means that there's a pattern and a reason for all the Disorder.  It means that it isn't luck.   Which is really good because, in turn it means that what has worked for other people can work for us as well. As long as we continue to try and do the work.

I'm sorry for your pain over the past three months.  Are you seeing a Therapist now.  Being on the board is great.  Any thing else you doing to take care of yourself right now?

Hang in there.

[simplyasiam]

hello seeking, yes we did live together in her home. im now back in my home and doing very well.

being there with open eyes and not lying to myself see her live out the roll of a person with BPD was a life changer for me.

before last year I didn't know what I was dealing with. being here and learning all I could about BPD saved my life from being a living hell.

my plan is go forward one day at a time and never lose myself again!

hello tausk, yes there is hope for everyone that's been on the past we are on. your right it is all a big cycle and we are the ones with hope of breaking the cycle.

no im not in treatment for this at this time, I know why I was there and why I stayed I have every supportive group around me and im open to treatment if I feel im not healing like I should.

[Tausk]

no im not in treatment for this at this time, I know why I was there and why I stayed I have every supportive group around me and im open to treatment if I feel im not healing like I should.

Good for you.  I have found it a strength to be able to ask for help when I needed it.

Someone once said to me, if the pipes in your house were bursting all around you, would you call a plumber?  Moral... . Find professional help for my professional problems.

And if my issues need some professional insight to help me, it's a strength to move in that direction as soon as possible, or my house will underwater soon enough.   

[emotionaholic]

Thank you simplyasiam for posting this.

I have been debating contacting my ex.  Its been 9 months of LC and I want to call her badly.  Hearing your story is what makes me not pick up the phone.

[simplyasiam]

hello emotionaholic. glad my story help you in some way.

I think the hardest past of it all is understanding and admitting why we ever stayed!