My T Said The Obvious Today...

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

... . that we were a mismatch. He saw us once, her twice, me weekly for three months. My uBPDx used to say something like this even years ago. I felt like she tried to give up who she was to be with me, and I certainly did, which is why we had trouble from almost the beginning. So why did we each try to be people whom we were not? The desire to have children, and great kids they are, despite both of us.

Something to work out on the PI board... .

[Turkish]

... . that we were a mismatch. He saw us once, her twice, me weekly for three months. My uBPDx used to say something like this even years ago. I felt like she tried to give up who she was to be with me, and I certainly did, which is why we had trouble from almost the beginning. So why did we each try to be people whom we were not? The desire to have children, and great kids they are, despite both of us.

Something to work out on the PI board... .

[arn131arn]

I've often heard my family or friends say this about my ex and I, Turk.

It used to bother me, like we were truly meant to be together, but just caught a bad break here and there.  That I could do anything I put my mind to, and I will fix/save her.  Rather narcissistic of me to believe... .

You know, I am even learning to forgive her, Turk?  I really am trying to put my best foot forward and detach and leave with some sort of class, but it's the lies, man, the horrible outright lies, manipulation, and public smear campaigns that I'm holding on to.  Yeah, those are the worst and the ones that I can't let go right now.

My 4 ft 11 inch tall little Italian mother was served with a RO yesterday for a false accusation that my mom hit her long ago!  Doesn't matter that they went x mas shopping, out to eat, and watched every one of my son's basketball games (sitting together) between December and January... . she is just so damn vicious.  My son is my mom's youngest grandchild, she spoils him, and he is the light of her life; and my ex knows this, so she is trying to make sure my mother doesn't see him now.

It's wicked man, really wicked stuff.  It's like that damn pet snake I had in High School.  I took care of it, fed it, gave it a place to live with a heat rock, and cleaned up snake hit every once in a while.  But sometimes if I waited to long to feed it, the snake would bite my hand as I was dropping the mice in. The last time it bit me, I threw the damn thing away... . literally.

So, maybe I just need to think about my ex as my old pet snake?

[Waifed]

I've often heard my family or friends say this about my ex and I, Turk.

It used to bother me, like we were truly meant to be together, but just caught a bad break here and there.  That I could do anything I put my mind to, and I will fix/save her.  Rather narcissistic of me to believe... .

You know, I am even learning to forgive her, Turk?  I really am trying to put my best foot forward and detach and leave with some sort of class, but it's the lies, man, the horrible outright lies, manipulation, and public smear campaigns that I'm holding on to.  Yeah, those are the worst and the ones that I can't let go right now.

My 4 ft 11 inch tall little Italian mother was served with a RO yesterday for a false accusation that my mom hit her long ago!  Doesn't matter that they went x mas shopping, out to eat, and watched every one of my son's basketball games (sitting together) between December and January... . she is just so damn vicious.  My son is my mom's youngest grandchild, she spoils him, and he is the light of her life; and my ex knows this, so she is trying to make sure my mother doesn't see him now.

It's wicked man, really wicked stuff.  It's like that damn pet snake I had in High School.  I took care of it, fed it, gave it a place to live with a heat rock, and cleaned up snake  every once in a while.  But sometimes if I waited to long to feed it, the snake would bite my hand as I was dropping the mice in. The last time it bit me, I threw the damn thing away... . literally.

So, maybe I just need to think about my ex as my old pet snake?

Sounds like the ex knows she is loosing control.  She is grasping at straws to retain some sort of power.  Her true colors are starting to bleed out.  Stand back and watch her crumble.  You are doing the right thing by being the better person.

[Turkish]

My 4 ft 11 inch tall little Italian mother was served with a RO yesterday for a false accusation that my mom hit her long ago! 

It's wicked man, really wicked stuff. 

Who the heck does that, Arn? And this so-called "millionaire" bf she has (and who really knows the reality of his financial situation?)? What kind of man enables and supports attacking a little old lady?

Toxic people, Arn. One would think that the judge would see through this BS. Can anyone just get served with a RO based upon word alone? Could you serve an RO to me?

Heck, my my Ex walked by and smacked me hard on the leg as I was lying face down on the bed because she was pissed at me a few years ago. Maybe I should file an RO against her. I wouldn't, but this seems to arbitrary, this abuse of the law.

[Mutt]

The desire to have children

For me. This is a big part of the equation before I met uBPDex. 

[Turkish]

The desire to have children

For me. This is a big part of the equation before I met uBPDex. 

Yes... . and a seemingly normal desire. The fact that we chose disordered mates is the real question to answer. I almost feel like I did what my mom pushed me to do for years and years, "You would make a great father, Turkish. Even if you don't get married, you should adopt like I did." Basically saying I should be a single parent adopter like she was... . wanting me to be like her for validation of her own choice, which was very controversial in the early '70s. I ignored this for years, but at this point, may as well have done that and saved myself a lot of trauma.

[Mutt]

The fact that we chose disordered mates is the real question to answer.

I believe this to be true.

If I hadn't met my uBPDex, I honestly believe that I would of been attracted to someone with the same traits as her.

[KateCat]

Can anyone just get served with a RO based upon word alone? Could you serve an RO to me?

I think that in the U.S. temporary restraining orders and protective orders can seem to be handed out like candy. To a court it makes some sense to assume that where there is smoke there is some kind of fire. Who can know what kind of fire until both parties are served legal notice and have an opportunity to respond? (In the meantime, maybe these parties are both protected by staying away from each other.)

It's disturbing to think that so many members of this forum (who tend to be the stuff that good citizens are made of) are served with orders like this.   Most of them don't seem to turn into permanent orders, though.