Drug Use

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

My uBPDgf does many marijuana 'poppers' during the day. I think this regulates her mood and I've seen her get agitated without them. I know she is addicted to them.

Can anyone provide some insight into their success or failures in getting their SO to stop drugs. If they did quit what happened to their mood? Sometimes I feel like I don't even know my gf as she is masking her true self with the drugs.

[btechpc]

My uBPDgf does many marijuana 'poppers' during the day. I think this regulates her mood and I've seen her get agitated without them. I know she is addicted to them.

Can anyone provide some insight into their success or failures in getting their SO to stop drugs. If they did quit what happened to their mood? Sometimes I feel like I don't even know my gf as she is masking her true self with the drugs.

[Surnia]

I had an exex some time ago who smoked a lot and when he stopped for what ever reasons he had huge anger outbursts and couldn't sleep. So its a bit similar to your observation about being agitated without. It can be sort of self medication.

I think you can't get someone stopping drugs. They have to do it, with an inner motivation. And sure, if someone is decided to do so, it needs probably more than just stop it,  like different approach with the own problems -therapist? - the new energy- workout? hobby?.

Does your gf has money issues through it?

[btechpc]

My gf also has issues sleeping when she stops using. In regards to the financial bit, she might have some issues but at this time I support her financially. She's is spending about $1000 a month on weed.

Thanks for the advice about her wanting to stop. I have never dated an addict.

[Surnia]

In regards to the financial bit, she might have some issues but at this time I support her financially. She's is spending about $1000 a month on weed.

This is quite some money!

Supporting her financally you are enabling her drug use. Something to think about.

[maxsterling]

I would STRONGLY suggest you attend a few meetings of Al-Anon or Nar-Anon.  They have helped me understand the addiction.  It's a mindset I cannot relate to, at all.

basically, it's like this:  She hates herself. She can't stand to be alone with her own thoughts.  When she uses, she doesn't have to be herself.  She is somewhere else - she's escaped her own brain.  It works for awhile, until she is dependent, and killing herself with the drugs.  Coming sober is more than just quitting the drug, it means facing herself, and her issues, with HONESTY.

My girlfriend is 11 years sober.  I didn't know her when she was using, but I can't imagine her behavior was that much different.  While she no longer does heroin, she still has the same behavior towards food, spending money, sex, doctors visits.  She wants ANYTHING that will help take the focus off herself.  That is what you can expect if she quits. She won't have the drug anymore to fill her void, so she will be in a bad mood until she finds something else. 

[Cloudy Days]

My husband used to be a hard core drug addict. he told me he used to try and kill himself by overdosing but by the time he got to that point drugs were in his system so much that it never worked. He did any and everything, heroin, meth, cocaine, you name it he did it. He got clean before he met me off of drugs at least.  Anyways when I met him he drank quite a bit, I did too (met him on my 21st Bday) so it wasn't a problem until behaviors started to come out that were really problematic.  Fast forward a lot of years and my husband no longer drinks alcohol at all. Will not touch the stuff, thank goodness, because it was a huge problem. He's been on every kind of prescription drug (for mental issues prescribed by a doctor), some with heavy side effects where he doesn't even remember a couple of months completely, and let me be clear, none of them stopped his behavior. He started smoking pot before quitting alcohol. I've seen him as an alcoholic, as a pill popper (prescription's from a doctor) and also as completely sober. I prefer him while he is smoking pot. Actually doesn't have to smoke it, eating it works too. Honestly, all the pills they tried to put him on just made him non functional or made him have worse mood swings. He's tried to over dose on some of them, would take too many of the another, some of them made him suicidal outright and one actually made him manic for three months. I was all for prescriptions but at some point we stopped throwing our money away. When something works, you keep using it. And what worked was pot. Now my husband is very dysfunctional, he has not been able to work, he has also been diagnosed with PTSD and brain damage on top of BPD. The pot slows his thoughts down so he can feel normal, he laughs, he is actually happy, he's functional! He calms down quicker and he even seems like he enjoys his life. He's attending therapy and his therapist actually said she's ok with his use. She's treated him both on and off the pot. To me it's better than some other drug made it a factory that is made to change his brain chemistry. If he has to be on something, it may as well be pot. I think the most notable thing is that it lowers his PTSD reactions, he usually eats some before going into places with crowds (major trigger for him). I've had some very eye opening and deep conversations with him while he is high, conversations that would never be possible if he were completely sober. Relaxation is not a bad thing.  

He does have withdrawals if he goes off of it. It's just like any other drug that you take for a long period of time. Your body is going to have withdrawals. The most notable are anxiety or mood swings which can cause havoc in someone with BPD, sleeplessness and vivid nightmares are also very noticeable.  

My opinion, is it should be legalized for medical uses at least. It can be measured just like any other drug and taken just like any other drug. If it were prescribed by a doctor would you be calling her an addict? I get that they shouldn't be on anything, but this is not a perfect world, if he has to be on something, then it should be the thing that actually works right.