I'm pretty sure my phone and computer have been hacked by male BPDfriend

[sharlock]

I don't know what to do.  Any suggestions. :'(

[123Phoebe]

Yikes Sharlock!  That has to be a horrible feeling.  What makes you think he hacked in?

Have you changed your passwords?  I'm sorry I can't be of more help.

[Soulsisters]

I had my iPhone hacked and computers by my X. 

It was 8 months of hell.  Emotionally and financially brutal.  It was terrible the things he was able to do to me with knowing every single move I was making for 8 long months.

Hire a private investigator and nail him.  It is hard to prove but can be done .  Watch your back every second and know that he can probably hear and see everything you do.

It is scary.  Take it seriously.

[btechpc]

Depending on which program they have used it's hard to tell. Most have a secret key combination that is used to bring up a login window. If you google 'spy software PC' a good list will come up. If you go on the support section for their products they will probably show these combos to bring up the login screen.

Only true way to know this is removed off your PC is to have your hard drive formatted by professional (not nerd squad!) and reinstall everything from scratch. Even better I would maybe buy a new PC if possible. Do not open any mail attachments from anyone, especially him as they can be used to install these programs remotely even though might be a picture.

Also change all your passwords, they must be totally new and unrelated to your old ones.

Call the police too, they may be of assistance. Installation of remote monitoring tools without your consent is against the law.

[Surnia]

This is quite a bad feeling, sharlock.

Does your bf has enough knowledge to do such a thing? And from outside or does he has possibilities to change things at your hardware directly? I would reach out to a professional about it.

As for the emotional side: Sounds like severe trust issues, does something happened recently?

[Dog biscuit]

He Sharlock,

I suspect/suspected the same. I have an old laptop in use again and working from there. Best thing to do is to clear up and re-install the computer of wich you think is being hacked.

And see if you can get a new phone... .  

[Grey Kitty]

We have a couple threads on how to deal with security.

First, general stuff around here... .

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=59369.0

Second, suggestions to clean your computer/prevent this sort of thing:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=78226.0

One suggestion was that if you suspected your account here was compromised, posting about it isn't the best approach.

[Soulsisters]

If you have an iPhone make sure that you do not have any alias on your Apple ID.  I was on the phone with Apple once a week and it took them forever to figure out that an alias was attached to my Apple ID through the I cloud. 

Every time I changed my passwords he could see it.  It was a mess.  Disable old Apple ID and start over