What specific help would be most useful to you

[snowwhite]

Would you share with me what specific help would be most useful to you as a family member or friend of someone with BPD?

Would better drugs, changes to the laws affecting hospitalization, a weekly 3-hour break to give you time to regroup, a genetic test to BPD be what you would most desire? Would you like to see better training for school counselors and religious leaders? Do you think counselors need better training to help you and your BPD family member?

Please share with me your wish list and if possible, what you think we could do to get there.

Thank you.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[musicfan42]

Would better drugs, changes to the laws affecting hospitalization, a weekly 3-hour break to give you time to regroup, a genetic test to BPD be what you would most desire?

Is there actually a genetic test for BPD? I've never heard of that. Or are you just posing hypothetical questions here and basically doing some kind of market research?

[radioguitarguy]

I would find it helpful to be able to share experiences with more parents who have a male adult son with BPD(22-35 year olds)... . We have a 29 year old son who lives with who suffers with BPD. Thanks!

Radioguitarguy... . RGG

[jellibeans]

Dear snow white

I think it is kind of funny you are asking for the fairytale list snow white... .

As a mother with a child with BPD it would be good if I had more support from the school she attends and the counselors there. I wish we didn't live is such a harsh world sometimes and people were kinder to my dd.

I don't think there is any magical pill out there... . my dd takes a mood stablizier and an antidepressant but I really hope she will be drug free one day.

What would be really good if there were more places to help these kids that didn't cost $100,000... . i think the whole mental health system in the USA needs an overhaul. I find it very sad to watch the news and see some young person shoot up a school and see the news reporters describe the person as evil... . when it is very clear that person in mentally ill. I really think making BPD more visable to the public and educating them might be helpful.

I really think this site has gone a long ways in educating and supporting people who have a pwBPD in their lives. Coming here and reading the posts and the articles was like a light going on in my world. Everything clicked and it was like I could see clearly for the first time. It would be great if maybe once a year the different boards could meet in person... . crazy idea maybe but i think there is so much we can learn from each other and that has been the biggest gift this board has given to me.

[snowwhite]

I am not asking for a fairytale list, but something we can begin to fight for. What would work for you and why? What can we tell the researchers we need MOST. Where would our tax dollars spent on mental illness be best spent and why, specifically, would it be more cost effective to spend more on public outreach, community clinics, education of school counselors for earlier diagnosis,  or whatever would be of help to you now or would have been earlier.

When I read the book "Crazy", written by a former Washington Post investigative reporter after his son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, he detailed what was wrong with the current laws from his experience and explained how they had changed and why they were changed. He talked about how most of our psych hospitals are now part of jails and prisons because we wait until someone has committed a crime to give them help. This was a specific change in policy and law that brought this about. In the past, the laws and policies were NOT this way. And they do not have to remain this way.

I realize most of you are caught up in the day-to-day drama, but we cannot make any forward progress unless we know what we want and why it would help us. And I need your help to figure it out.

[qcarolr]

I think this answer would be different depending on the age of child one is coping with. In thinking on this about my BPDDD who is 27, the first thought was housing support, food, companionship that is stable and healthy... . Caring for her basic needs first. Yet, we did this. She has had many opportunities in the past several years to access many resources - in the community mental health services system and the human services  dept. in our county. She has shunned all of this. She shunned all help her whole life actually. Even as a very young child.

So from a research perspective -- how do we create a shift in the pwBPD to accept treatment when they are so very resistant? How would this look for a pre-adolescent; a teen; a very young adult... . ? How do we look at chronological age vs. emotional age in providing services?

The other area that needs mega support is including the family in all treatment planning, including with adults. Especially that young adult (called 'emerging adulthood' in some current publications - age 18-40). This is an area for changes in laws designed to protect the patient or client, that in effect limit service providers from seeing the 'whole picture'.  So many of the success stories on this forum include family being involved in the treatment in some meaningful way. Whether this is family sessions at an RTC, or in outpatient clinics.

I see better training coming to our county mental health center. Things are very different in the past 2-3 years than 5-10 years ago. Dd has been in the adult programs there for over 8 years.

The courts in our district are extremely rehabilitation focused with many innovative programs for all ages. Bottom line - the individual has to reach a place to accept treatment options.

Whew -- you got me going. I may have to come back.

qcr

[qcarolr]

Had to meet gd8's school bus. She is out playing now. My other thoughts:

The financial piece is also a very real stumbling block to so many that need residential treatment to get connected to really accepting and participating in treatment. This has to have some support from local and national government, whether in the health care/insurance area or through the criminal system.

Each part is linked to the others. Need - family involvement - treatment accessibility - treatment funding - patient willingness to accept treatment.

There is also a very heavy price our kids pay with the drug culture that has a significant impact on the mental illness. Self-medication, addiction genetics, peer pressure, school difficulties, relationship failures - family and friends... .

I want to go out and push for changes -- then I get overwhelmed by my own personal dramas and distress and the bigger picture fades to grey... .

I am so very very grateful for bpdfamily. There is so much solid, research based information listed on the side-bar to the right. How do we help disseminate this into the broader public without being shut down by the ongoing stigma -- FEAR BASED -- against anyone with a mental illness? And the stigma/blaming of the family?

For my DD, it is her substance abuse that is leading her into a dual-dx program funded by the court system -- if she chooses to accept and work it this time around. It is part of the addiction resources in our community. There is a lot more acceptance in our culture of substance abuse treatment than mental health treatment. Perhaps pushing for more facilities to add the mental health to an existing addiction recovery system is a good place look for change.

qcr