Almost 7 months out

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Long story short, ended 7 months ago, 3 brief renconciliations, 2 of which were just over the phone. She's coming on strong the past few days but I've moved 1100 miles away. I want to believe the promises and go back even though I know she'll break up within a month or two and I can't afford to lose another job or my room again. Anyway, she's asking me if I've slept with anyone else and want to know if I should lie to save her from being hurt or be truthful. I hate lying but in this case I'm wondering if its best because I'm praying somehow we can be together again, but not counting on it. She's been refusing therapy for a solid year now. I keep hoping she will get herself in dbt but she's stubborn.

[blurry]

Long story short, ended 7 months ago, 3 brief renconciliations, 2 of which were just over the phone. She's coming on strong the past few days but I've moved 1100 miles away. I want to believe the promises and go back even though I know she'll break up within a month or two and I can't afford to lose another job or my room again. Anyway, she's asking me if I've slept with anyone else and want to know if I should lie to save her from being hurt or be truthful. I hate lying but in this case I'm wondering if its best because I'm praying somehow we can be together again, but not counting on it. She's been refusing therapy for a solid year now. I keep hoping she will get herself in dbt but she's stubborn.

[maxsterling]

My opinion - if you aren't truthful, then it comes back to bite you later on.  If she is hurt - that's her issue.  You are broken up, and that means you are free to see other people.  A shame she won't get into therapy, but I think you already know nothing will change about her behavior unless she does.   Tell her the truth, and let her handle it.  How she handles it will let you know where she is right now, and whether this relationship is worth salvaging.

[Clearmind]

What would need to change for any chance of reconciliation? No change and the relationship is back wheee it started.

Have you sort out therapy for you?