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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Here is my update  (Read 358 times)
motherof1yearold
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 645



« on: March 29, 2014, 08:50:40 AM »

Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggghhhhtttttt!

Sorry for being so absent on here lately! I've been super busy and only just got my laptop fixed.


Parenting plan still the same . 3/4 with alternating weeks.

Ex husband got a DUI and has since lost his license. And I have since started driving  So now I guess you could say the tables are turning.

Lots of dysregulation going on on his part. He currently has my number blocked, but continues to e-mail. He LOVES to e-mail threats and insults to me yet refuses to comply with any part of co parenting (doctors appointments, medications) so now it is basically parallel parenting. For example , if DD2 needs to see a doctor, *I* will take her and pay for it. I will inform him that she needs to take X amount of medication and give him the medication at our exchange. He fails to do the same for me,  but that is just something that will be brought up in next mediation or court date.

Other than that, he is constantly telling me how to parent, yet won't listen to anything I say . Like 'she has a fever today, be sure to keep an eye on it' . Now I just don't say anything anymore. But of course its okay for him to say ANYTHING he wants to me. *rolls eyes*


I think I already mentioned this, but my sister died in november. Just another reason I have been so absent from the boards. We have bad weather here today (lots of tornado watches) plus DD2 is sick so I'll be inside and be able to get on the computer again later.


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mywifecrazy
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 619


Picking myself off the canvas for the last time!


« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2014, 09:08:30 PM »

Wow I can relate. My uBPDxw pulls the same crap. I'm the one who,ends up paying for most things. I ask her to help,out and she ignores my emails or texts. I'm the one who actually had to block her from calling or texting me. I keep ALL communication in emails this way it's documented.

I guess I should consider myself fortunate as I have primary custody and she only gets our sons every other weekend. Yes PARALLEL parenting is what we do. Actually I do all the parenting and she runs around doing God knows what for 2 weeks in between seeing her kids.  I feel for you.  I would be a reck if I had to trust my X to be responsible with our kids in a 50/50 custody.  Thank God she was selfish and walked out on them!

Hang in there!
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The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. (Psalm 34:18, 19)
motherof1yearold
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 645



« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2014, 03:31:10 PM »

yes, it is hard to trust him. ;s
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ForeverDad
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18212


You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2014, 03:07:14 PM »

Having the ability and option to drive is so empowering. Being cool (click to insert in post)  Now no job beyond walking distance or bus lines is beyond reach.  You're less dependent on others, their schedules and agendas.  It adds flexibility to your life and you don't feel as 'stuck' or 'helpless'.  On the flip side you now have the fun of filling the tank and inevitable repair bills.

So sad about your sister and the sudden impact on your life.  How are your sister's little ones and their dad doing?
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motherof1yearold
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 645



« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2014, 11:46:29 AM »

The kids are doing well, one is 3 and the other newborn . Dad is staying home taking care of both now, and seems to be doing well.

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momtara
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2636


« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2014, 09:56:25 PM »

So glad to hear your update.  It's too bad your ex still gets that much time with the kids.  But good that you have boundaries.  You seem in a much healthier place than a few months ago, and that is good for your kids.  Sorry to hear about your sis, tho.
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