spring break visit

[suffering_parent]

BPDmom has first visit in 5 months with our 4 kids this week.   It is supervised for 7 days over spring break.

Only half a day in and its not going well.   I will be surprised if she lasts.   Her biggest problem is not having a vehicle.   She wants to run all over town with them.   She wants me to trade my van for the supervisor's car.   I need wheels to get to work this week.

She also made more threatening comments to me.   She keeps telling me I am going to die.   God is going to kill me for my actions etc.   I don't want to be anywhere near her because of this.   I am on the fence about going to the police.   It sure seems like criminal behavior to me.   Last time the sheriff ignored me though even with a recording of her saying a gang was putting a hit on me.

I just wish she could have a nice visit with her kids, but I guess its not possible for BPD.   She is refusing to help the kids with their homework that is due next monday too .

[DreamGirl]

Ugh.

Four kids is a lot of work if you're not used to it.

Kinda is predictable that she'd be stressed out. I wouldn't let her get to you too much - and if you can't/don't want to lend her your van, then so be it.

Do you think her threats are viable? Is it worth it to you to pursue it legally or criminally?

[Waddams]

Document her behavior and threats.  If nothing else you could maybe use it as grounds in a future family court action to have the visitation orders changed/revised to include provisions to protect you and the kids from this nuttiness.  Maybe new orders that make her responsible for her own place to stay, paying for a professional to oversee the supervision, providing her own transportation, lets the kids see her but stay at their home with her having to stay at a different location, etc.

And it sounds like more than BPD to me.  That's some pretty strong paranoia/delusional thinking/disconnected from reality type stuff. 

Anyway, I hope things get better, but get a recorder and document her threats. 

Is the visitation supervisor around when she's making these threats?

[suffering_parent]

The threats scare me.   She told me as a teen she wanted to kill people who made her mad and the entire small town was essentially scared of her.    For now I am just avoiding seeing her and locking my doors.

I saw very little physical violence from her during our marriage.   Just during the end she punched me twice.

I have not given into any her needs on this visit.   The worst thing is she sent the latest threats using my daughters email account.   She and her mom think I am spying on them.   So she won't log into any of her accounts from the kids computer or even connect to the wifi.

She certainly has a lot of mental health issues.   Realistically she needs hospitalized.   I encouraged her to be committed for the last 3-4 years and got no where.    It is to bad the system makes it so hard to get people like this help.