Can't tell if he's actually depressed or just wants attention

[Chosen]

So... . my uBPDh sometimes will say "I'm depressed" or "I'm so unhappy" out of the blue.  And this does this quite a lot, although he didn't try to do anything about it.

I would usually ask "What causes you to feel depressed?" or ":)id something happen?" and usually he'll not answer (or can't).  And sometimes he'll quickly move away from the topic, sometimes he just keeps on saying he's depressed but can't pinpoint why.

I wonder if any of you have had experiences like this, and how you handled it.  I have suggested to him before that if he really thinks he's depressed and needs help, then he should find somebody to help him.  But he is a total non-believer in counselors and psychaitrists anyway (thinks he does it best, but I guess it's just because he doesn't want to seem vulnerable)... . but now I've come to wonder if he's not actually feeling down, he's just saying that to get my attention?  Like a child saying "mummy I'm in pain" will likely get more attention than "mummy I want a hug"?

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[Surnia]

Could be that it is about attention. Why not try out to give some of it - just validate?

OH, thats tough. Perhaps you can later offer: I am here for you to talk if you want. Or: Is there something I can do for you right now?

What I would avoid is the "why" question and try to be more with it at the moment.

[an0ught]

He may be just self valdidating and signaling he needs space. Acknowleding it may be enough unless he persists.

Temporary stretches of feeling down are human. Do you need to fix that?