Just Googling high conflict divorce attorneys (your county) NJ, should come up with some results. Some may offer a free or reduced price consultation.
www.avvo.com/ you can also use this site to search for high conflict attorneys in your area and read reviews (from clients who have used them). You can also ask free questions (email only required).
Book suggestion: Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Billy Eddy.