Need advice. Should i reach out with understanding?

[Narellan]

Ive had 4 weeks of no contact with the exception of one phone call last weekend. I can see by his FB posts that my ex BPD is attempting to recycle with both his 2 ex girlfriends. He wants to remain friends with me. Wants to keep me in his life. Both these girls moved on years ago. He declared to me i helped him completely get over the last one, and helped him battle problems hes been dealing with on his own for his whole life. I think he has awareness of his issues. As we are on a friendship basis, and i really feel for him in this state of confusion, I was wondering if i could send him a message something like "I understand what you're going though, and Im here for you if you want to talk". Has anyone any advice on this? He hasnt ever raged at me, will this push him to that? I just want to show him some compassion, and let his know that im there for him, then he may not feel so desperate to recycle with people who will reject him.

[In_n_Out]

Wouldn't that then incite him to attempt to recycle with you?  Would that be something that you want? 

I haven't read your story so only speculating, but it would seem by this short post that he's desperately trying to find a replacement for you and the first places to turn to are those that he already knows and is/was comfortable with.  If you start to reach out to him, what will that signal to him?  "Possibility". You'll have to decide if you want him thinking that maybe he should concentrate his energy back on you or not.

My $.02

[Narellan]

Thanks for your .2c I really don't know what I want, my hearts still grieving for him. I change my mind almost every day. And switch boards on here. He's made my life chaotic, well I contributed and as I've only been with him for 4 months I know I should cut and run, but my life is helping disadvantaged people. I work with people with disabilities, have done for 25 years, and I lived with my husband for 25 years dealing with his bi polar disorder. I don't know why I always go in to bat for the underdog, often to my own detriment. I think I'll stay silent for now though. I'd rather keep things on a friendly ground.

[Aussie0zborn]

People with physical disabilities are the most appreciative people you could meet which makes working with these people personally rewarding. And you get paid for it, too.

The underdog here is you and it's you that needs to be helped. I'm not discounting how you feel because these are difficult relationships to end but it will be easier and faster for you to get over a 4 month relationship than a 4 year relationship. Less heartaches, less stress, less betrayal, less grief.

Do you really want to set yourself up for a recycle and go though it all over again? Just as people with a disability seek help from professional support services, people with a mental illness should seek support from professionals - you are not qualified to deal with this. Love and understanding doesn't cut it and in the end you will only feel betrayed. Not a good feeling.