Cheating... will they ever confess?

[Seneca]

I'd long suspected my uBPDh of flings and prostitutes, but when someone randomly whispered in my ear that it was true this weekend, i could hardly believe it. Because of the nature of these occurrences, that they were not proper affairs, there is no evidence for them. Even if i could find another person to corroborate the claim, what are the odds he'd confess when confronted? I get the feeling that even if i had a picture of him in the act, he'd deny it. I got std tested today. Even if i had something, he'd try to convince me i got it some other way. Blaaaah 

Whatdya think? Has yours owned up to it? Or is that too much to ask?

[HerPerpetuallyTornLover]

They wont confess. Mine lied constantly, even when I had proof. If she didnt know the extend of the proof, shed still lie (knew she got drunk. She lied about drinking and said she had nothing while she smelled like a bar rag. I told her I knew she drank because a friend who was there told me, she finally "confessed" to having one, until I told her I really knew how much she had). There is never a 100% sure way to know that they arent lying, Im really sorry. Mine lied till the bitter end. About everything, big and small.

[waverider]

The confessions are not worth anything anyway, they are always damage control and the reasonings will be twisted, and another sell job on you as to why they are not responsible.

The only truth is that you will never know the truth. So life becomes a lot easier if you can live without endless doubts.

[Narellan]

I love that quote wave rider " the only truth is that you'll never know the truth " it's soo true and it really messes with your head and makes you do things out of character to ease the not knowing. It got so bad for me in the end I hacked his FB account and got my proof that 3 days after our split he began pursuing my best friend. And she's been lying about it for 5 weeks saying she hasn't heard from him. And she's been chatting on a daily basis making plans to meet up with him. I'm glad I know but be prepared cos the truth really does hurt. And I can't act on the info with any confrontation cos I think he will escalate. So I'm NC with him and slowly removing her from my life without mentioning it. It really makes me sick to be honest I'm in and out of despair at the loss of the two of them  but the truth has set me free .

[Ritchie53]

Count yourself very lucky if you get a confession. The cheating will always be linked back to yourself, it will always have been your fault. It's all projection and their cheating will be because of something you have done to them.

[MissyM]

Seneca, my dBPDh did finally confess after I found proof and he has done treatment for sex addiction.  I think that borderline addicts have to do both DBT and addiction recovery.  He had a polygraph, so I am pretty sure I finally had a full confession.  I don't know how you would go about getting the truth without the help of a CSAT (sex addict therapist).  It is a terrible feeling to live with, you seem pretty calm.  I was a raving maniac when I found that he had done this for a year and a half.