Raymond007

[Depression = 72% of members]

Of course not my real name.  It's been 7 years since my BPD xgirlfriend has left my life and I am so happy she moved on without killing herself.  I would say she had a Hollywood face of a beautiful woman, I rate her a ten.  At least in my book she was a ten, I couldn't go anywhere without guys wanting to take her away from me.  Of course she always had an open door policy for meeting people and that usually made me feel inferior, especially when she expected me to have a closed door policy to anyone.  I use to post on this site, but lost my username, my hidden one, along with the email address that belonged to it.  I am back here again, because I know someone who is in the deep throes of a BPD relationship and thought it would be helpful to send her a few links.  But the charm vacuum cleaner keeps pulling her back in.  It's a little dangerous for me to be her friend, so we have become secret behind the scenes friends.  I am not interested in her, she is way too young for me, but I still feel the need to help her understand that you can lead the horse to water, but you can't make them drink it.  In the meanwhile, I hope to find my old username, I think it is Raymond.  Just send my friend Dee Dee's Rules of Engagement.  That was always a good read for me. Hope it helps her.

[Raymond]

Of course not my real name.  It's been 7 years since my BPD xgirlfriend has left my life and I am so happy she moved on without killing herself.  I would say she had a Hollywood face of a beautiful woman, I rate her a ten.  At least in my book she was a ten, I couldn't go anywhere without guys wanting to take her away from me.  Of course she always had an open door policy for meeting people and that usually made me feel inferior, especially when she expected me to have a closed door policy to anyone.  I use to post on this site, but lost my username, my hidden one, along with the email address that belonged to it.  I am back here again, because I know someone who is in the deep throes of a BPD relationship and thought it would be helpful to send her a few links.  But the charm vacuum cleaner keeps pulling her back in.  It's a little dangerous for me to be her friend, so we have become secret behind the scenes friends.  I am not interested in her, she is way too young for me, but I still feel the need to help her understand that you can lead the horse to water, but you can't make them drink it.  In the meanwhile, I hope to find my old username, I think it is Raymond.  Just send my friend Dee Dee's Rules of Engagement.  That was always a good read for me. Hope it helps her.

[Narellan]

  welcome back Raymond007. It's good to have you back. There are great resources on this site for your friend as you know. Why don't you suggest she join up on here and get support for herself? We love welcoming new people   she will benefit from reading others posts and getting support for herself from posting on the board. You know your way around the site, so go for it!   it's good to have you here. Maybe some of your posts can benefit others here?

[Elpis]

hi Raymond007!

We have a great book list here too that you might want to pass on to your friend: Book Reviews - Top Recommendations

Like Narellan said, probably the most helpful thing would be for your friend to sign up in the bpdfamily community herself so she can get support for her relationship first hand. And really, she has to be the one to want the help or she won't follow through anyway. It's so hard to see people we care about go through pain they didn't need to, but we have to be willing to respect their choice to be in the relationship or not.

How does she feel about it? She keeps going back, so she doesn't seem to be seeing it as an entirely bad relationship, no matter what the future might bring. And many people with BPD are capable of having a relationship--like we nons, they're all individuals too.

How have you done in the years since your ex left? Have you been able to move on successfully and have other relationships? It sounds like she left a pretty big stamp of disapproval on you.

Welcome back!

Elpis