My DD was always a handful. To discipline her I would put her in time out, I never raised a hand to her, I was beaten as a child, I never wanted my children to feel the fear I did.
By the time she was 9 she was playing softball and cheerleading, I coached the cheerlading, and was VP of the PTA. My DS Played football and Hockey and Baseball, I also had a 1yr old Daughter. My hands were full, and still she seemed to not get enough attention. One day when the baby started walking I saw her walk up to her older sister who was sitting in a chair in the living room and the BPDD kicked the baby across the room and laughed.
That was the last straw, I knew she needed help. SO I had her evaluated, all they could say at that age was that she had something organic going on, perhaps some form of dyslexia that effected her socially more then anything else because her grades were great. Shes very very intelligent.
At 13 i got a call from my best friend, she saw my BPD in Walmart, ans she said DO you have something to tell me? I said No why, she said DD is telling everyone she was pregnant. I knew this wasnt true, I was worried she would make it true so I brought her to a counselor that night. After an hour session, the counselor (instead of trying to talk her out of wanting to be a Mom) decided this was a family issue and a problem between MOm and Daughter! I have no idea what my DD said to this women.
At 15 her BF broke off with her. SHe retaliated by telling ua and the school that he slammed her against a locker and hit her in the hallway, I filed charges. The next day I was brought into the school and shown the video of them in the hall, he walked right by her, didnt even look at her. She was expelled for this.
At 17 she had my oldest GD. She did graduate HS, but then went on the street with and admitted child abuser and left the GD with us.
My yD and this GD are like sisters now.
At 19 she had her middle daughter with this abusive man. She used to see the GD every now and then and take her overnight. Until the GD told me she was molested there at 4yrs old.
I called for and investigation and they found that she was molested, but couldnt prove who did it, so no charges were filed.
SHe then left her 2yr old daughter with the abusers, and went with another man. Wile she was with him, he had a big 4br home, she got a good job they were going to Disney etc, so my family said its time, let her raise her daughter. So I gave her back, she called me for 3 days telling me how great my GD was doing, but never letting me speak to her. After that 3 days DYFS came to my home and told me she had left the GD at the Motel with the abusers she never let her into the home she was living in. I still had custoday so I went to the Motel and collected her, what I saw in that room, Ill never forget. THe 2yr old was tied into her high chair, this was a ONE BED Motel room with all of 4 adults belongings piled to the ceiling, there was no place to play eat nothing. When they opened the door, my oldest GD said "Its about time Mom MOm "
She was 4 she knew id come save her, and when she cried for me they told her I was in Jail, uggg
Then a few months later the middle childs father called DYFS saying he was going to kill himself and his daughter, so I was instructed to go get custoday of her also and I did.
We taought her to live in a home, with structure and rules, she didnt fight it she LOVED It she was happy.
Then after a few months my BPD came home preganat AGAIN. now shes got 3 babies and 3 differnt dads. She was leaving this man , my ex told me not to let her in, but shes my DD, so I did on the condition she seeks help through DYFS.
SHe did, I was running them all to appts, school and dont forget I still had a now 14 yr old Girl myself, and going thru divorce of 28yrs with the same man.
THe BPD was told by one counselor that she didnt need DYFS she can go to court whenever she wants and take custoday back.
I thought she was doing well, was able to go out myself and leave her with her children. SO one day she went out to court when I didnt know, told them horrible lies about me and got custoday. She then went to her NOW MIL and told her I threw them all out on the street. Thats how she got a free roof, and out. But of course she didnt count on me telling DYFS where she was, and I did.
I did go to court and tell them shes not ready, the judge said shes their natural Mother give her a chance for for 3 years, that is what I have done, not only leave them alone but try and help when I can.
Her now Husband is scitsophrentic, hes been hospitalised for violence. WHen my GC were brought there, the oldest would cry out for me, they told her I was as good as dead. I cant help her now etc. He has kicked her with his shoes on, and beated all of them in rages.
They used to lock them in their room at night but I had dyfs remove the lock.
I was there once and my GD had holes worn in the bottom of her shoes, I said Honey you cant wear those anymore Ill get you new ones tomorrow, he ran down the stairs and told her how selfish she was to wear them out. She is in survial mode now, anything to please them so they wont lash out at her. She cant sleep there, DYFS answer to that was a shrink who gave her sleeping pills that she never got because the parents took them (yes there are drugs also). Im sorry but if a child has to be medicated to sleep why leave her there?
THe middle GD is a huge concern. He school evals say shes delayed due to neglect. The MIL and her are like oil and water. I heard the MIL tell her shes worthless, fat and nobody will ever love her. I told my BPDD and she just told her not to speak like that in front of me, I called DYFS and they had the counslor do an in home lesson about how NOT to speak to children, (Of course it all continues)
The most disturbing thing about this woman is she told me and many others she thinks this GD is possessed by the Devil. 3 weeks ago the children told me she did her own exorsism on the child.
At this point, my BPDD and her Scitsophrenic husband have been up in their room doing drugs for 3 years. His Mother enables them by watching the childrena dn providing the money for it.
Shes lost her Car, her 15yr job, and her home is in forclosure.
And its so dirty, noone eats in the kitchen its like hoarders, so even when they clean for DYFS, the food is ground into the LR rug, not just spots all over.
My oldest GD has bladder control issies, shes 10 now, she wets the bad and they wont allow her to clean the sheets for months. No testing is done to see if she maybe has Diabetes JD runs in her dads family, or they say it could be from her being molested at a young age.
SO 3 weeks ago I had them here, my BPDD was soo high, and bragging about how shes high everyday now. She also showed me pics of her new man. She said shes planninmg on leaving the hubby, and shes going to just play her game again and dissapear. I asked how shed get the kids out, she didnt answer so I was already worried shes going to leave them with more people.
Then the girls told me of the beatings and exorsisms, and my Youngest and her Fiance and I said enough is snough. I filed for custoday again, I called DYFS to tell them what was going on, of course everyone lied. MY EX AND I DONT KNOW HOW DYFS CAN STAND IN THE DOORWAY AND LEAVE THOSE KIDS IN THAT HOUSE.
After I called she called DYFS on us, they deemed it a malicous report. SO then she went and took a restraining order, she said we threatend to slit her throat, and my GD throat, just all kinds of craziness, she was thrown out of court niceley, but the judge didnt even tell her that was a wrong thing to do to us, even though we were facing jail time and huge fines and it would effect a background check.
SO thats where I am now, waiting on the custoday hearing and hoping someone somewhere will care about these little ones enough to see theyve had enough. Both of the parents are untreated, have rages and are on drugs. TO me right now every hour they are in that house is dangerous.
