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Author Topic: First encounter since NC - went really well - feeling positive  (Read 328 times)
falconfree28

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 20



« on: April 29, 2014, 02:09:59 AM »

So I'm at 8 weeks NC and if you're not aware we are both actively involved in a community which is partner dancing, I put in the boundary of attending different classes and avoiding contact at community dance events.

It was only a matter of time before she decided to attend the same class, she threatened this in her final text nearly two months ago that this might happen and last it did.

Before she came round I was nervous but once I got her during the class (thankfully not for long) there was a cordial exchange, did the move, got the next partner. It was a strange feeling, I also noticed she sank more than me and seemed alot more nervous than I was, I went very quiet and remained reserved, whether I shut down or just me getting out the way I'm yet to work out. All in all - it was a "hey" and a "thank you" then she was gone.

I don't know whether it's the book (Stop Walking on Eggshells), my counselling, getting inspiration, the strength I've gained from the posts and workshops on here, and having huge support network of really good friends that I can talk to, but compared to how I felt 2 months ago when I put in NC, I know I'm not guilty and need not justify things to her anymore, she'll never change, but at the same time it must be terrible to live in the world she lives in but it's not my job to fix that.

This journey is far from over and one I'm willing to proceed on and I suppose that's the one good benefit, that I'm sorting through myself and turning myself into a better person.
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bruised
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« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2014, 04:07:43 AM »

Well done. I have to attend a function with my uBPD ex-friend in a few weeks. I won't be able to avoid her, so I hopefully I'll be as composed as you were.
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