I am so sick of her ups and downs

[ynguns2]

Hi all I am back on again and want to tell you I am fed up trying to be a nice guy to a woman who is a complete selfish and self centered individual. I have posted before on here and my situation is with my g/f or ex g/f who knows what the heck she is anymore but anyway she is pregnant and this happened two months after we started dating and thing all went to hell in a hand basket after.

I have tried everything I offered her to move in with me and she said "No" and I asked her why not she says it's my house and not her house and she will never live in my house. Then she wanted an engagement ring and at first I was like "ok" I could see this in a positive way but when she demanded a minimum 1 carat ring which are like $6k I said "hell no" she then gets upset calling me cheap and then tells her family how I am this horrible guy who did this to her.

I have always been there for her I o to doctor visits I drive 45 min to see her and she rarely comes to see me ( 1 time in 8 freaking weeks) I am so fed up with it and I am done being a nice guy anymore. I am going to live my life for me from now on and if the kid iis mine I will take care of my end and that's it. I have a good attorney who I am talking to and if she thinks she is going to keep me away from my child (if mine) she has a rude awakening coming.

I get yelled at because she says I don't do enough for her and I ask her what does she want me to do? and she basically said buy her a ring I said to her "You want me to buy you a ring when you and I never have sex and she nver comes to my house?" it aint happening any time soon I tell ya and I am done worrying about her reputation at her school where she teaches "Big deal" she does not care about me one stinking bit and never says anything good about me to her family and friends.

She refused to come to my family party for Easter and I have always gone to her functions and this proves to me that she is selfish and non caring. I don't know if she is Bpd or not but she has some weird imagination on how things should be going and states if things don't go her way she leaves "well here is the door" I said bye.

[js friend]

Hi ynguns2,

You sound like such a good guy and such a catch. Believe me I would have welcomed you with open arms if my dd19 could have found a guy like you before having children with her deadbeat b/f

PwBPD are totally unpredictable in their emotions and not rational at the best of times and if wanting an expensive ring over the importance of having a roof over her and her child heads says a lot about her thinking and immuturity dont you think. I dont particularly like my dd's exb/f but I have felt sorry for him in the past when he has turned up to take gd and then he has been refused at the door because dd has simply changed her mind. I dont think there is much more you can do for this girl without compromising your own sanity other that add the dates up and work out if this child has the potnetial to be yours.

best of luck ynguns because if there is a child involved you are in for a tough ride

[Indigo Sky]

You can only control yourself. You can not control others.

If you are tired of the ups and downs get off the elevator.

Make boundaries that protect yourself.

Make your life happy! Surround yourself with people that make you happy!

[WGIII]

If there is ANY advice I can give you... . DON'T marry her! I'm new at this site, and I married mine, and my life has become a complete hell. In retrospect, we would have had our child, and I hopefully would have been even a BETTER dad that I am, because I could have stayed clear of all of the insanity of the week to week, "I love you", now I want a divorce"... . this has been going on for EIGHT YEARS!

[ynguns2]

Hi all just dropping in to give you an update. Well for starters things have not really improved in my situation but I have felt better about myself and I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns. I met with my attorney who is a good friend of the family and he said i basically have to wait it out until the kid is born and then fight for paternity and joint custody. I live in Indiana and she lives in Illinois so the big thing is where do I pay support and also what are my options as far as seeing my daughter? I was told it's like 3 years before a kid can have over night stays if the mother wanted to be that harsh but who knows what will happen maybe she will become normal after her hormones stop raging.

If anyone on here pays support or has any info please do give me advice.


Thanks to all

  JB

[letmeout]

Have a DNA test done when the baby is born to make sure the child is yours!