History then & now

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I found out something after the last weekend that took my memory back to the earlier years of my marriage.

Back in the 90's not long after ex's abusive and controlling SF (uNPD?) had died, her mother was coming to town.  We arranged for her to stay with us over the weekend, something we'd never done before.  Well it was sort of a cat fight, my ex claiming her mother (waif uBPD?) was trying to come on to me and that she'd gotten into the wine we had, after the first night my ex declared her mother had to leave, she had to go to the other daughter's home some distance away and I drove them out there.

About a year or two later, with ex certain she had one or another debilitating chronic illness, we moved a few states away.  A few more years and we had our son.  (Yes, my confusion, I thought it would fix our troubles, it just triggered her and made them more complicated.)  We made plans to go back to our old area for an event and to show off our babe in arms of course.  Along the way we stopped at her mother's new home, after just a few hours ex said, 'Let's go right now, I can't take this any more.'  Until now that visit has been the only time our son saw his maternal grandmother.

Spin the clock forward to today, our son is now a pre-teen and her mother has lived with her sister for a while now.  The court recently ordered my child support to stop when the parenting schedule changed, though it declined to determine what child support she might have to pay.  Then without notice to me she moved back into the county in part so she could be closer to her extra job and I believe in part to try to regain her parenting time.  The same week she notified the court of her move closer, someone made a child neglect complaint against me.  So... . somehow I don't think our court days are over, nearly 6 years to go before he's an adult.

Want to guess what the latest tidbit of news is?

[ForeverDad]

I found out something after the last weekend that took my memory back to the earlier years of my marriage.

Back in the 90's not long after ex's abusive and controlling SF (uNPD?) had died, her mother was coming to town.  We arranged for her to stay with us over the weekend, something we'd never done before.  Well it was sort of a cat fight, my ex claiming her mother (waif uBPD?) was trying to come on to me and that she'd gotten into the wine we had, after the first night my ex declared her mother had to leave, she had to go to the other daughter's home some distance away and I drove them out there.

About a year or two later, with ex certain she had one or another debilitating chronic illness, we moved a few states away.  A few more years and we had our son.  (Yes, my confusion, I thought it would fix our troubles, it just triggered her and made them more complicated.)  We made plans to go back to our old area for an event and to show off our babe in arms of course.  Along the way we stopped at her mother's new home, after just a few hours ex said, 'Let's go right now, I can't take this any more.'  Until now that visit has been the only time our son saw his maternal grandmother.

Spin the clock forward to today, our son is now a pre-teen and her mother has lived with her sister for a while now.  The court recently ordered my child support to stop when the parenting schedule changed, though it declined to determine what child support she might have to pay.  Then without notice to me she moved back into the county in part so she could be closer to her extra job and I believe in part to try to regain her parenting time.  The same week she notified the court of her move closer, someone made a child neglect complaint against me.  So... . somehow I don't think our court days are over, nearly 6 years to go before he's an adult.

Want to guess what the latest tidbit of news is?

[whirlpoollife]

Want to guess what the latest tidbit of news is?

I feel the anxiety and stress again for you. What is it

[sanemom]

Don't leave us hanging!

Something about child support or her mom?

[Waddams]

BPD mom asked about reconciling.

[Forestaken]

Custody?

I sadly enjoyed the part of your mother-in-law making a play for you.  According to my s2bx, I had the hots for my D's 60+ year old music teacher ( I was in my early 40's then). Jeez

[GaGrl]

She's moving in with her mother, or her mother is moving in with her?

[ForeverDad]

Bingo!  Gagrl got it!  I guess my recollections from the past were a bit too obscure.

Yes, I've heard that ex's mother will move in from out of state and reside with ex.  If ex couldn't handle even a day years ago, what will happen if they live together?

Maybe she is thinking it will be extra income for her.  But how will her mother get around?  She did drive years ago after SF died but I wasn't aware she was driving in recent years.

If it does last I'd think my ex will try to take her SF's controller place, her mother was always the more passive or waif-like.

And I'm sure ex will do a lot of guilting for more time claiming son needs his grandmother or his grandmother needs him.

[livednlearned]

Custody?

I sadly enjoyed the part of your mother-in-law making a play for you.  According to my s2bx, I had the hots for my D's 60+ year old music teacher ( I was in my early 40's then). Jeez

Is this a thing? I got accused of this too. My 65 year old professor, 35 years my senior.

FD, I hope things are ok for your son when he's there.

[whirlpoollife]

I was thinking your x would claim that you didn't allow your son to have quality time with his grandmother.

My x2bh had me having a fling with our 85 yr old neighbor , that  we weren't discussing planting strawberries.