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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Just had me a photo bonfire.
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Topic: Just had me a photo bonfire. (Read 626 times)
Narellan
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1080
Just had me a photo bonfire.
«
on:
May 07, 2014, 09:40:39 PM »
Wow... . I feel great! I felt nothing as I got the photo out and looked at it one last time. No anger, no nothing. So I set up my bonfire next to the garden hose, and I lit it. Who knew photographic paper doesn't burn very fast, so it was very slow as I watched the cracks first come through. Cracks all over her( my former best friend) and cracks all over me. Then the flames started. Totally engulphed her side of the photo and me last . Significant because I am the last man standing. I felt happy. I smiled as I watched it. And I hosed away the ash. Nothing left, not a scrap. I feel joyful and unburdened.
And as i type this I'm thinking how mad in the head I sound. It is invigorating to have destroyed something. I didn't really know how much of a burden this photo was, how heavily it was weighing on me. I am so proud of myself.
Thank you all for your input.
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Hurtbeyondrepair27
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: single (1 month)
Posts: 472
Re: Just had me a photo bonfire.
«
Reply #1 on:
May 07, 2014, 09:46:10 PM »
Good for u! I can I borrow juat a fraction of that strength?
How long is nc for,u now?
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cosmonaut
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1056
Re: Just had me a photo bonfire.
«
Reply #2 on:
May 07, 2014, 09:48:13 PM »
Congrats, Narellan! I'm glad that you figured out what to do with the photo, and found a great and very symbolic way to use it to detach. So happy you are feeling great!
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Cardinals in Flight
formerly NurseRatchet
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 652
Re: Just had me a photo bonfire.
«
Reply #3 on:
May 07, 2014, 09:50:19 PM »
Oh Lord, look out everybody there's a fire bug in the house!
You go girl! You rock!
CiF
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Narellan
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1080
Re: Just had me a photo bonfire.
«
Reply #4 on:
May 07, 2014, 09:53:07 PM »
8 weeks today! Apart from a brief phone call about a month ago to ask him to take my nude pic off FB
I'm celebrating. But HBR just because today's a good day doesn't mean tomorro will be. I'm up and down like everyone on here. But more lately I've had happiness not tears. I'm getting stronger each day, but only a few weeks ago I was where you are. Read my posts. I can't really imagine that despair now.
But I'm prepared for anything. If he contacts me or posts another photo it will hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm not that strong yet, but just doing what I need to a bit at a time. X
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Banshee
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 210
Re: Just had me a photo bonfire.
«
Reply #5 on:
May 07, 2014, 10:30:04 PM »
Totally engulphed her side of the photo and me last . Significant because I am the last man standing.
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AwakenedOne
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 776
Re: Just had me a photo bonfire.
«
Reply #6 on:
May 07, 2014, 10:33:09 PM »
Quote from: Narellan on May 07, 2014, 09:40:39 PM
It is invigorating to have destroyed something.
P.S.
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blissful_camper
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 611
Re: Just had me a photo bonfire.
«
Reply #7 on:
May 08, 2014, 12:45:13 AM »
Awesomeness! High-Five, Narellan!
I'm glad you made a decision about what to do, and took the action that felt right to you. Hey that rhymed!
Git er done!
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nolisan
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 332
Re: Just had me a photo bonfire.
«
Reply #8 on:
May 08, 2014, 03:39:42 AM »
Fire is a great way to banish our pain and reclaim our souls. I did something very simular.
I went to a Franciscan monastery and shared my r/s story with a wonderful empathic and wise priest. When we were finished I took out a picture of her and asked him if we could burn it.
I lit it on fire and the fire circled around the edge and burnt inward. The constricting circle was centered on her head. Just as the fire was going to consume her head the flame flickered and went out. I almost gasped - then the flame came back. Poof - she was gone.
There was a bit more symbolism ... . she was a pagan witch. What a way to go (she hated Christians especially Catholics).
I have always wondered if she had an unexpected sudden hot flash at that moment.
Noli
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