Worse seems to come in cycles per month?..Or just way it seems?

[wilsonian]

Hello all... just doing my daily reading of the post to make my self realize I am not alone in this world dealing with my BPD wife... . Got a question which maybe nothing at all but with my wife it sure seems like different times of the month are worse with more verbal attacks... misunderstanding and rage and throwing things or am I just lucky by draw that the 5th till 11th of each month is personal heck for me... ?javascript:void(0);... . Anyway thank you for all who post and all the awesome info on this board it helps me keep my sanity... . now if I can just learn not to get drawn into the drama and anger to totally avoid any confrontation my life would be much better... . I just cant walk away fast enough or close enough doors

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[maxsterling]

My GF complains of her "woman" cycle, and I think that has something to do with it.  Not just hormonally, but she's also fixated on having a baby, ashamed that she had an abortion a few years ago, so every month that goes by childless she feels shame and worthless.  Not sure if those could be issues here.

But I also think the BPD goes in cycles of it's own.  Anger and emotions build in them until they boil over, and then return to baseline.  For my GF, this is about every two weeks.

[wilsonian]

that maybe what it is Max... . it just seems over the past 10 months (of course first 3 months were perfect) that it seems the same time... . she almost like clockwork every three weeks it really gets bad... .

[Blue Tide]

Speaking as I woman here (!) I can confirm that it's pretty difficult dealing with the hormonal turmoil of 'that' time of the month, so I can only imagine that this must be doubly difficult with someone with BPD. I am aware that my uBPDh definitely goes through cycles although obviously they are not linked to certain times of the month (that said I am also aware that I can make things a lot worse when I'm going through it because he is so attuned (and dependent?) on my mood). His cycles seem to be longer - 3 months? But interspersed with smaller ups and downs.

All I can tell you that it can sometimes be very emotional (all sorts of heightened emotions - frustrated/sad/angry/irritable) as a 'normal' fairly sane of mind woman so it must be so hard to deal with if you're also BPD. At least if it happens like clockwork you have some idea of when to expect it and when you maybe need to give her some extra space?

[Blue Tide]

Correction… for her maybe not 'extra space' - probably more helpful would be extra support and validation? Just trying to put myself in her place

[letmeout]

The monthly cycle is just a good excuse for a woman's bad behavior.

My counselor said that all abusive people (includes BPDs) have cycles that run like regular clockwork. 

I had noticed it years ago, and if you look at any abusive cycle chart on the internet, you will clearly see the pattern in your BPD person too.