It's okay to be angry

[Parents! Get help here!]

That's what I tell myself now.

If my child had been born with any disease other than this "BPD" - I don't think I would be so angry. But this "disease" makes them axxholes - I mean really - it can be thought of as the axxhole disease. They are not blind, or physically challenged, or mentally challenged - they're just mean axxholes most of the time. Who wouldn't be angry? I mean I can only turn the other cheek for so many years - I am human and I'm not Mother Theresa - just an ordinary mother trying to live an ordinary life and getting slapped in the face (sometimes literally) every time I have to deal with this person I gave birth to.

I still wonder if this is a "1st world disease" that only privileged white kids get - because you never hear of BPD in Nigeria or other countries where kids are just fighting daily to SURVIVE ...

Kind of like anorexia - do we ever hear of anorexia in 3rd world countries where kids are forced to scavenge through garbage dumps for their daily meals?

BPD seems same ... a disease only reported in 1st world countries for kids too privileged to know what it's like to have to sift through garbage to find a meal.

So I'm angry at my BPDD for being an axxhole ... . so what... I get to be angry sometimes. It's not like she cares one way or the other - she's gonna be who she is - I deserved better and I got a crappy kid - there I said it... . God strike me down for thinking bad thoughts and putting them in writing. My life would have been so much different without this disease...

[parent of bpd daughter]

That's what I tell myself now.

If my child had been born with any disease other than this "BPD" - I don't think I would be so angry. But this "disease" makes them axxholes - I mean really - it can be thought of as the axxhole disease. They are not blind, or physically challenged, or mentally challenged - they're just mean axxholes most of the time. Who wouldn't be angry? I mean I can only turn the other cheek for so many years - I am human and I'm not Mother Theresa - just an ordinary mother trying to live an ordinary life and getting slapped in the face (sometimes literally) every time I have to deal with this person I gave birth to.

I still wonder if this is a "1st world disease" that only privileged white kids get - because you never hear of BPD in Nigeria or other countries where kids are just fighting daily to SURVIVE ...

Kind of like anorexia - do we ever hear of anorexia in 3rd world countries where kids are forced to scavenge through garbage dumps for their daily meals?

BPD seems same ... a disease only reported in 1st world countries for kids too privileged to know what it's like to have to sift through garbage to find a meal.

So I'm angry at my BPDD for being an axxhole ... . so what... I get to be angry sometimes. It's not like she cares one way or the other - she's gonna be who she is - I deserved better and I got a crappy kid - there I said it... . God strike me down for thinking bad thoughts and putting them in writing. My life would have been so much different without this disease...

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[mggt]

I know how you feel I think it is ok for us to feel anger the BPDs just wear us down again and again take care 

[tristesse]

I get angry too, a lot... . and I get my feelings hurt ... . a lot.

you are not alone, and that doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human. My BPDD, has also literally slapped me in the face, so I am sorry your are going through this. I understand how frustrating it is, and I just wanted to reiterate the fact that you are not alone.

[kelc323]

Parent of BPD Daughter, I actually read your post yesterday after being attacked in an  unfair, viscious way by my BPDD27. I told her I needed a two-week break, before our relationship became permanently damaged. Then I came home and cried like a baby. I pounded pillows, stomped my feet like a 2-year old and railed at the Big Guy as to why, oh why, I had to deal with this. It seems so unfair. Then, I logged on to this site and read your post... . , "I deserved better and I got a crappy kid - there I said it... . " I laughed out loud with tears running down my face. I liked that you said it out loud. At that moment you said it out loud for me and for all the others that feel the same way. It doesn't mean we don't love our kids. It just means that we are aknowledging our humanity, disappointment and anger. That's ok, as long as we don't share it with our loved ones. You actually did my heart a lot of good yesterday, because none of us are alone. We are all united by the pain and frustration of dealing with BPD. I hope today is better for you. If not today, another day will be I'm sure.

[mimis]

Oh your words are so my words today.  Had a crappy day again with my D. She lost it on us - says we never support her, etc etc, etc.   It was a wound to the heart. I cried.  Seems like I cry everyother day.

You are right I have a crappy daughter and I am ANGRY! And you are right, we have the right to be angry.  I am so tired of living in a war zone.  Thank you mother of BPD daughter for saying what we all must feel at one time or another.

[Loujaye]

My 20yo daughter has severed our relationship completely. After being close for the better part of her 20 years she left home at Christmas for reasons she created and believed and has now made part of her history. She has reunited with family members from whom we were estranged as they were horrible to us and insensitive about her mental health and my physical health. I have fibromyalgia and most of what goes with it. She does too for that matter. She hates me with a passion I have rarely seen in her. Said she tested me and I failed and am a horrible mother. I may be a lot of things but no one could have loved or advocated more for their child over the years than I did. Now I'm mad. I'm at a point where the initial grief at losing her has sunk in and more manageable; ie I can get out of bed and function. Her control over our lives, especially mine has placed my marriage of a year at risk as well as my older daughter's mental health. How dare she do these things? Who is this person who loved me and whom I love more than life? And as mad as I am, how do I live my life without her?

[raytamtay3]

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