Lying

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

The reason it is so convincing is because they are not deliberately trying to sell you an image like a con artist, they are just naturally mirroring you. When they tell you they like what you like, they do, they have adopted your interests and taken them on board. It's not deliberate faking for effect. They have simply "borrowed' your image. In that moment they believe it.

This doesn't apply in my case as he certainly never adopted my interests even in the least.  It was always about what he liked and about what he wanted to do.  Mirroring me and my interests were nowhere on the radar.

I would say mine is similar to this.  It is we do as he wants, when he wants.  If my family and/or plans enter into the picture then I'm being selfish.  He even becomes jealous of the time I spend with my 8yr old child. 

He has started arguements, by lying, over a sport I put her in the she likes, and I have coached in the past, his lie is claiming I am not asking her about what she wants to play and then telling me she is afraid of me.  I am very open with my child about any & all activities she does and ask her way before signing her up.  It is all he "need" to control me or be with him, even if he isn't home.

[FigureIt]

The reason it is so convincing is because they are not deliberately trying to sell you an image like a con artist, they are just naturally mirroring you. When they tell you they like what you like, they do, they have adopted your interests and taken them on board. It's not deliberate faking for effect. They have simply "borrowed' your image. In that moment they believe it.

This doesn't apply in my case as he certainly never adopted my interests even in the least.  It was always about what he liked and about what he wanted to do.  Mirroring me and my interests were nowhere on the radar.

I would say mine is similar to this.  It is we do as he wants, when he wants.  If my family and/or plans enter into the picture then I'm being selfish.  He even becomes jealous of the time I spend with my 8yr old child. 

He has started arguements, by lying, over a sport I put her in the she likes, and I have coached in the past, his lie is claiming I am not asking her about what she wants to play and then telling me she is afraid of me.  I am very open with my child about any & all activities she does and ask her way before signing her up.  It is all he "need" to control me or be with him, even if he isn't home.

[CryingOut4Help]

my husband lies about EVERYTHING.  No matter what... . I never know what to believe anymore.  Now I realize he's always been like this but I my eyes were just shut to it before.

Half of his lies are to make me go crazy and question reality... . the other half are to cover up whatever he's doing that he's not supposed to be.  And then there's times he just out right lies over stupid things for absolutely no reason.

[mywifecrazy]

Interesting convo... .


For me, whatever my exBPD says is a lie until she proves her words with actions.

Same with my interactions with my uBPDxw. That's WHY I don't even talk to her anymore. Tired of trying to filter out the lies to get to the truth.  I only converse in e-mails so everything is documented. Just caught her lying about my kids camping trip yesterday. Saying she didn't know about it. Showed her the email showing that she DID know about it and she backed off. It's SAD that it's come to this but THANK GOD for BPD family and the EDUCATION I'm receiving here so I know how to deal with her or I would be completely OUT OF MY MIND by now!

[waverider]

So until I see action to back up words, everything and I mean everything she says, to me, is a lie

Are they as much delusions as lies?

[corraline]

My ex would go to extremes with cover ups and lies.  I just couldn't understand it because i did not know he had BPD.  One example i just thought about was , i was arriving at his house for the weekend and his daughters were coming the next day. He has a driveway that is only big enuff for two cars side by side.  His was there on one side but he flagged me down to stop me from pulling in.  He claimed that my car was spilling oil the last time i was there and did not want me to park there. He pointed to the pool of oily substance on his driveway.  I was suspicious since the last time i parked there it was the other side of the driveway and my car was not leaking oil. I parked my car outside of his gated community across the street instead. He went inside and i decided to investigate this pile of oil.  It was actually fresh oil with no odour , more like vegetable oil. He must have very recently put it there himself.  I hadn't been there for a week.  Hmmm... . I know very well what leaking oil motor on concrete looks like!

So when i told him that i did not think it was motor oil , my car wasn't leaking and i had parked the other side last time , he said that maybe it was from his lawn mower.  Well his lawn mower is electric.

Hmmmm... . I just stopped engaging the whole thing.  Futile really.   I am not sure why he didn't want me to park there. I worried he didn't want my car seen there just in case another woman may see it . He may have wanted me to leave it open for his daughters for the next day.  I just could not understand the lengths he took to avoid me parking there...   I am sorry for this long story but knowing what i do now about BPD... . i am thinking he must have been uncomfortable about any confrontation from me about parking elsewhere, so he set this scenario up instead .  Yikes... . He did many strange things like this .

[waverider]

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Waverider